Where the Sun Don't Shine
by JJ Alice Heart
Summary: When James Diamond, popstar extraordinaire known for being practically in love with himself, falls in love with a girl the total opposite of him, will he change who he is for her or crash and burn? James/OC
1. Chapter 1

**PLEASE READ: Hey, readers! This is my very first fanfic, so please don't be too hard on me! I'm kind of new to , so I don't know everything works yet. You'll have to forgive me for that ;). I don't think this is my best work, so you guys will have to review and tell me whether you want me to continue it or not. I'm pretty good with spelling and grammar, so that shouldn't be a huge problem, but I know my story format/layout isn't quite right. I'm not gonna' bother with it too much, though, because this isn't an actual book or anything. Anyways, enough nattering. On with the show! *curtains open***

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own Big Time Rush, any of the show's characters, or any official product/brand names I may use in the story. I do, however, own the rights to any OC characters, false product/brand names, and the storyline I have created. My permission is absolutely needed for the use of anything I own on . This story is written purely for non-profit entertainment and the writing practice of an amateur. **

**James P.O.V.**

I watch Carlos jump up and down like a six-year-old on Christmas morning, just waiting for him to slip and fall in the pool. Playfully rolling my eyes as Carlos grabs a random bystander and excitedly screams something incoherent in their face, I turn to Kendall who sits calmly in the rainbow coloured beach chair next to mine. "So who told you about this new girl?" I ask, thinking maybe it's just a false rumour a Jennifer made up to get attention.

I notice him relax more against his chair and pull a pair of black aviators out of the bag sitting on the pavement beside him. _Mental note: ask Kendall where he got the cool new shades later. _

"Jo. She said she and Camille overheard Bitters saying something about a new female resident into the phone at the front desk earlier this morning."

I suddenly sit straight up in my chair, my hazel eyes widening with hope. "So it _must _be true!"

Carlos practically goes hysterical with happiness and all but pounces on Kendall. "Is she pretty? Does she have a boyfriend? Does sh-" He pauses for a moment and seems to think something over. The next thing I know, he lets out this sharp, girly gasp and is pulling Kendall up by the collar of his plaid shirt. _"Does she like corndogs!" _Yep, saw that one coming from a mile away. A little kid hesitantly walks by, eyeing Carlos strangely.

"Heel, boy!" Logan shouts. He pulls the smaller teenager off of Kendall and keeps a strong grasp on his arm just in case he decides to spazz again.

"Man, I don't know! I haven't even met her!" The dirty-blonde shakes his head and carefully inspects himself, checking for damage. "Crap, I think you ripped my shirt..."

Of course this new fact starts an uproar that involves screaming, more physical violence, and even a few tears (yeah, we think Carlos might be just a _little_ bi-polar). Per usual, I tune out most of the argument, trying (but not succeeding, sadly) to focus solely on the music magazine in my lap, yet I still catch things like "I never flushed Bibbles down the toilet!" and "You're not going to be my best man anymore!" here and there.

All of a sudden, I realize this is the perfect opportunity for me to sneak off and get a head start on preparing for the new chick. Having abandoned the magazine somewhere off to the side, I slip out of my seat as quietly as possible and dart past Logan who's now got Carlos in a headlock, attempting to keep him from taking a swing at Kendall with the neon red baseball bat he's now holding. I would laugh if I wasn't in such a hurry. The only thing on my mind now is getting into 2J unnoticed by the guys so I can delve into my manspray stash and pull out my secret weapon – _'cuda: extreme. _That's right. Better wear ya' 'Cuda. It's been a little too long since I've had a girlfriend and I'm going all out.

I make a beeline for the lobby, muttering a low "Dang it!" under my breath when I hear the others call after me. As I sprint forward I just _know _they're chasing me. I can _feel _it. What happens next, though, is the kind of thing you're only supposed to see in movies.

It catches me completely off guard when I hear Logan shouting for me to watch out. Still running, I twist my head in his direction, confusion written all over my handsome face. He opens his mouth to yell out an explanation, but suddenly, I forcefully collide with someone much smaller than me and come face to face with the most angelic girl I've ever seen.

*BTR*

She chokes out a panicked gasp as she slips on a puddle at the edge of the pool, her legs coming out from under her and her arms flailing in every direction. I hardly have time to notice the object that flies out of her grip and hits the water with a loud splash before I catch her in my arms, saving her from going for a swim.

As I steady her and the adrenaline starts to wear off, I suddenly become aware of how close we are. _Almost dangerously close. _My bangs hang lightly in her face and our noses just barely touch. I can feel her warm, unsteady breath on my skin and the subtle sting of her nails piercing my arms. Her dainty fingers are clutching onto me in a frantic death grip.

She hangs under me, as though I just dipped her for a dance, and I swear I can faintly feel her heart racing against my own chest. What feels like an eternity passes and I start to really _see _her. The brightest brown eyes I've ever seen stare widely back at me, afraid. I watch, intrigued, as a light shade of pink washes over her faire skin and her pale blonde hair, a much lighter shade than Jo's, is pulled back into a ponytail that bounces in the breeze.

The girl seems to relax a little, loosening her grip on my torso, but the way she trembles slightly doesn't go unnoticed by me. Carefully, I lift her into a standing position, holding her when she stumbles. I realize how small and fragile she really is, and if it weren't for her mature beauty, I'd probably be questioning her age. She looks to be a bit shorter than Carlos, but definitely taller than Katie.

"Are you okay?" I ask, just as the others start to crowd around us. She nervously straightens out her plain white sundress as I finally let go of her and shakes some water from her flip-flops.

"Yes." She simply says. Her voice is so quiet and soft that I'm sure I'm the only one who heard it.

Carlos starts bombarding her with questions. "Are you the new girl? What's your name? Where did you come from? _Do you like corndogs?_" Said girl looks overwhelmed.

"CARLOS! _Breathe_!" Kendall yells. The Latino takes about five seconds to suck in a huge breath and then starts his rant all over again. Kendall slaps a hand over his mouth, muffling the questions. At the same time that he's struggling to keep Carlos relaxed, he shoots the most genuine smile he can muster (which looks a little forced) at the girl and asks if she's alright. She nods slowly, probably confused to no end by every one's craziness. Oh yeah, welcome to the Palm Woods.

I look down at my sandals and scratch the back of my neck nervously. "I am _so _sorry about that." I say, "I was in a hurry and I should've been looking where I was going..." "Yeah, in a hurry to impress you, and look how that ended. _Ironic, much?_" I mentally add, scolding myself.

She looks around, as if trying to avoid my gaze. "It's ok, really, it was my fault. I wasn't looking where I was going, either..." Her voice fades away as she watches Logan crouch down and fish something out of the pool.

"Yeah, about that..." He says, standing. "Here's your book." He gives it a quick shake, water spiralling out of every corner, and offers it to her like it's a dirty sock or something. As the book passes between them, I catch a glimpse of the cover. _"Pride and Prejudice" _is printed across the front in fancy, gold script. Don't most teen girls read, like, Twilight or something? I feel even worse about the whole thing as she flips through the soaked pages looking a little down.

"Nice choice of literature. It's a classic." Logan decides to add.

Kendall and I give him a look that clearly says, "Could you be any more of a girl?" Heck, even _Carlos _is looking at him weirdly now.

"What?" He mumbles. I just shake my head at him like a father disappointed in his son. "It's a good book." She whispers as her fingers run over one of the pages. I shift from one foot to the other.

"Yeah, I can totally replace it if you want...I mean, I hope that copy didn't have any sentimental value or anything." She shakes her head.

"Don't worry about it. All I have to do is take a blow-dryer to it and it should be fine." I raise my eyebrows, surprised. I'm positive that any other girl would be screaming at me right now, threatening to take me to court if I didn't replace whatever it was I'd damaged. Well, that's what a Jennifer would do, at least. Yeah, I know from experience.

"Seriously, just let me buy you another copy. I can handle it, I'm in a band." I flip my hair, trying to look cool and hoping to impress her. Then again, do stuck-up teen heartthrobs ever impress unique, down to earth girls who have more going for them than just a pretty face? Check no.

Carlos glares and Logan and Kendall share an eye roll at my obvious ego.

The girl finally looks back up at me, her facial expression unfazed. "I appreciate the offer, but no thank you." Her voice remains sugary sweet, but beyond that I hear the tiniest bit of irritation that she seems to be trying to keep under wraps.

I don't really know what to say to that and we all stand in an awkward silence.

After a moment or two, she quietly says, "Well, please excuse me, but I should be going. Have a nice day." As she turns and heads gracefully into the lobby, I expect her to sneak a glance back at me. She doesn't.

I furrow my eyebrows together in confusion and turn to Kendall.

"Hey, man, do I look ok?" I watch him closely as I play with my hair.

He shrugs carelessly.

"Yeah, I guess. You look the same as always. Why?"

I turn my head back towards the lobby just in time to catch the mystery girl disappear into the elevator. "Because I think in a twisted, round-a-bout way...I just got rejected."

*BTR*

**Ok! Like I said in the beginning, I don't think it's my best work. I'm not really sure about it. I HATE to sound needy, but since this is my first fanfic, please review and let me know if I should continue or not. I need encouragement to keep writing. :3 - Who can ignore the pouty face? Thanks for reading! **


	2. Chapter 2

**PLEASE READ: Hey, guys! I want to apologize for not updating sooner. I was sick, which doesn't exactly give a person the motivation to be creative :(. Anyways, I hope you guys don't mind that this chapter is in my OC's P.O.V. I thought it might help you get to know her character better. I want to give a very special shout out and thank you to linkin4life who was my first reviewer and really encouraged me to keep writing this! Anyways, enjoy the chapter ;).**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own Big Time Rush, any of the show's characters, or any official product/brand names I may use in the story. I do, however, own the rights to any OC characters, false product/brand names, and the storyline I have created. My permission is absolutely needed for the use of anything I own on this website. This story is written purely for non-profit entertainment and the writing practice of an amateur.**

**OC P.O.V.**

When I hear the slap, I just about let the strawberry smoothie I'm drinking clatter to the carpet with a loud crash. I was so absorbed in my book that the sound scared me enough to make me almost wet myself. Since I'm in my usual lounging attire, a sundress, that would _not _be good at all...

I quickly scan the lobby, checking to see what on earth is going on. I don't see anything unusual (well, besides that homeless looking man running around with over-sized headphones and a chainsaw, but I've been told he's just the maintenance man... ) and after a minute or two, I just go back to my peaceful reading, forgetting I ever heard anything. My eyes shine with silent laughter as the words tell me something funny and I'm _just _settling back into the IKEA chair when I hear it again, this time twice as loud and accompanied by a low shriek. The faint sound of a girl yelling follows, and I decide that I should leave the comfort of down cushions and footstools to see what's up. Plus, I can't focus with all of the racket going on and I'm a little freaked out.

No one else seems to be paying any attention and even when I ask Mr. Bitters about it, he just nonchalantly shrugs me off with a mumbled, "Oh yeah, nothing new."

By the _third _time I hear it, I cautiously wander out to the patio.

The first thing I notice is that the yelling gets louder, and then I'm met with the sight of those four boys from the other day.

When I catch a glimpse of the tallest one, cowering behind the shortest, I immediately try to push away the memory and thoughts that cloud my mind. My hands rub hastily at my face, attempting (but probably not succeeding) to make the light blush I can feel there disappear.

He's the one who caught me, the major klutz, before I took a dive and I'm still embarrassed about the whole thing. I shake the feelings off as best I can and focus on the reason I came out here in the first place.

There's a feisty looking teenage girl practically shrilling at the dirty-blonde while the others stand back and watch, half-amused. My jaw drops open in shock and I wince a little as she strikes his face over and over again while he just stands there, helplessly letting her. The poor thing looks like a puppy dog being beaten by it's owner. Each time she hits him, a fresh, bright red handprint covers the last one.

Suddenly, with one final blow, she swirls on her heel and stalks away, her chocolate curls swaying as she goes.

I only realize now that I've brought a hand to my lips, suppressing a sharp gasp.

The boy shakes his head and grips his face as the others each half-heartedly pat him on the back.

_What just happened? _

Before I can lose my sudden confidence, I force myself across the pavement that separates us.

"Are you alright?" I ask quietly, refraining from reaching out and touching his face as I realize the marks look much worse up close.

He looks a little startled at me suddenly appearing in front of him, but recovers fast enough. He massages his cheek. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine." He acts like it's no big deal and my eyes widen in disbelief.

"That girl just...she just _slapped _you. _Repeatedly._"

As he fiddles with the hem of his plaid shirt, he seems to think this over for a minute before laughing a little. "That's Camille for you. She's the Palm Woods famous _method _actress." He nods towards a guy with a black faux-hawk, the one who got my book out of the pool. "Logan and I are kind of tied for the place of her number one guinea pig right now."

I nod shyly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I misunderstood. I thought she was hurting you."

He laughs again and I'd usually be feeling self-conscious, as though he's laughing _at _me, if it wasn't for the fact that his laugh sounds so free and innocent.

"Well, technically she was, but I'm pretty used to it."

Behind him, I can feel a familiar pair of hazel eyes piercing into me. They keep me frozen in place, afraid to move so much as an inch, and I'm using everything in me to focus extra hard on the blonde in front of me.

"I'm Kendall." He says, extending a hand.

I shake it lightly. "Trinity Blaire."

He does a handsome side smirk and leans forward a tad. "I think I'd like to have you as my friend, Miss Blaire."

The small smile I give is hesitant and unsure. I've always been much too shy for socializing to come naturally to me, and no one's ever been quite so forward about wanting to be my friend.

I only nod, dumbly, and he turns to introduce me to his friends. "I believe I already mentioned Logan."

Logan looks at me, his ebony coloured eyes full of life. "Hi, Trinity. Welcome to the Palm Woods." He politely shakes my hand.

"Hi. Thank you for the other day, you know, getting my book for me."

He smiles warmly. "It was no problem, really. I was happy to help."

Oh, he's definitely a charmer. The girls here must fall all over him. It's not every day that you meet a young guy so courteous.

Kendall motions to the smallest of the group, a Spanish looking boy. "This is-"

"_Do you like corndogs?_"

I take a hesitant step back as he gets up close and personal, waiting anxiously for my answer. He looks like he might start bawling if I don't say yes.

I smile sweetly, finding his energy very endearing. "I love them." Hey, it's true.

He throws himself at me, enveloping me in a hug so tight I think I might start choking. He hoots and hollers hardly understandable phrases of excitement.

"-Carlos." Kendall sighs.

When I start to cough, Logan pulls him off of me and makes sure to hold him back.

All of a sudden, a knot starts forming in the bottom of my stomach when I realize who's next.

"And this is Ja-"

"James Diamond." The boy with the stunning eyes says, and it's only when he speaks that I know I can't hide forever. I drag my gaze from the ground and slowly look up at him, hating how he stares at me with the same smug look that he's probably given every pretty girl who's come through the Palm Woods.

Kendall throws his hands in the air, frustrated. "Why do I even try?"

Instead of politely shaking my hand like the others, James folds his bare arms across his chest, clearly trying to show off the muscles there. I promise myself not to give his toned body a second look. I _won't _be that girl who acts as his flavour of the month just to feel good about herself for awhile. It's like taking drugs. Getting high feels amazing, for a bit, but in the aftermath it hurts more than it's worth, just the same as heartbreak in most cases.

"Hey, mystery girl." He says, flipping his light brown shag.

Any other girl would be fawning over the nickname and running back to their room to jump around screaming about the hot _James Diamond _of a band, but I just stare blankly back at him, willing myself not to glare. I prefer to _not _be treated like another one of his playthings.

"Hi." That's all I say, and it comes out nicely enough, just...lacking emotion. I was raised to have good manners despite people's ignorance.

He looks a little taken back, obviously picking up on my slight irritation, and now that every one's been introduced, I take this as my chance to escape.

"It was a pleasure meeting you all," I say, "but I think I'm going to continue my walk now. Have a nice day."

I ignore their protests as I head on my way, once again delving into my book that acts as a comforting hiding place. Of course, a book can't actually hide you. I hear footsteps following me, but I keep my pace as steady as before, not wanting to come off like I'm intimidated.

"So, mind if I join you?"

I won't give him the satisfaction of looking at him. If he's hoping for wide, starstruck eyes, he had better be prepared to be disappointed.

My eyes trail over the next sentence in the paragraph I'm on.

"I'm going to be reading-"

"I don't mind."

I feel like saying, "Obviously _you _don't mind, James, but _I _do." Instead, I just bite the inside of my cheek, but not visibly enough for him to notice my frustration.

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see his large shadow casting over the pavement and this is how I know he's still with me as we walk in silence. It's awkward, uncomfortable for me, and truth be told, I'm not actually reading. Really, I just let my eyes skim over the words repeatedly, as though I'm memorizing lines for a play, and even then I don't actually _see _the words. I'm far too busy focusing on the alarm sounding in my head. It's the alarm that warns me of danger, and right now, standing so close to James, that's _dangerous_. I'm too intelligent to let physical feelings affect me, but I can't always protect myself. Life just doesn't work like that and the heart just doesn't tell you what's best sometimes.

I wish to "draw a line in the sand", so to speak, and build a wall between us right now. I don't want to suddenly find myself a fly trapped in the spider's web, wondering how I got there.

A nervous, almost nauseous feeling immediately comes over me when I feel James swiftly slide a muscular arm around my shoulders.

It doesn't take me ten seconds to practically leap away from him, leaving his arm dangling in mid-air for a split-second or two.

I stand dejectedly across from him now, my eyes wide and my breathing heavier than it should be.

"What are you doing?" I sound panicked and confused, but I know exactly what he was doing. He was making a move on a girl he doesn't even know. _That _is pathetic.

He looks completely puzzled, but then starts laughing as if something about all of this is funny. "Relax, I was just putting my arm around you."

Watching him, I see haunting hazel eyes that seem to stare right through me like I've suddenly become a delicate, glass flower and every single scratch on my insides is made visible. I see the kind of eyes that one just doesn't ever forget no matter how hard they might try to, and I see the kind of eyes that make their mark on a person.

I will _not _let him win. I will _not _be a victim of his crimes.

I inhale deeply and straighten out my sundress, a nervous tick of mine.

I try to stay as calm as possible and think, I mean _really _think, before speaking. That's another thing I was always taught to do growing up. I guess it comes in handy sometimes.

I carefully tuck my book under my arm, knowing I need to step up to the plate and be confident when I say this. I need no distractions.

"James, I'm not interested." It might have been said quietly, but it was firm.

For a moment, I look him directly in the eyes, seeing the confusion that swells in them.

He stands completely blown away in the middle of the Palm Woods patio, his mouth continuously opening and closing in shock.

I decide I'm not going to wait for him to say something. I'm going to not only take, but accept this moment of strength while I hold it in the palm of my hand.

He shoots me a look like I'm completely crazy, but I glide wordlessly past him anyways.

For the first time in my life, I feel like I've found the voice I deserve, if only for a single moment in time. Right now, anything is good enough for me.

The entire way to my apartment, I walk with my shoulders back and my head held high.

*BTR*

The moonlight streaks through my window and shines across the hardwood floor as I lay in bed, my eyes slowly fluttering closed.

A newfound confidence still keeps a spot in my heart, and the last thing I think before everything fades away is, "always act like you're wearing an invisible crown."

*BTR*

**Ok! I don't own the quote at the very end. I found it online and I can't credit it to any one because apparently the author is unknown. Also, I don't own the "flavour of the month" thing either. I think I saw it in a movie or something once, but I don't know exactly where it's from. ANYWAYS, thoughts? Pwetty, pwetty pwease with a nice big cherry on top review? I would only love you for it! :) **


	3. Chapter 3

**PLEASE READ: Heyo, peoples! Ok, so, I just want to say I really appreciate all of the favourites and alerts, but I only got one review on the last chapter (which I'm still thankful for:). I need you guys to review and tell me what you think if you want me to continue the story. It's really discouraging to work hard on something and find out I'm hardly getting any feedback. I need to know if this is pointless or if I should continue. So pretty please, REVIEW! :)**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own Big Time Rush, any of the show's characters, or any official product/brand names I may use in the story. I do, however, own the rights to any OC characters, false product/brand names, and the storyline I have created. My permission is absolutely needed for the use of anything I own on this website. This story is written purely for non-profit entertainment and the writing practice of an amateur.**

**James P.O.V.**

"Have you seen my hat?"

From my spot on the couch, I hear Logan shuffling around in the kitchen, swinging cupboard doors open and clicking them shut.

I'm lying upside down on the upholstered couch with my legs sprawled over the top and my brown shag just barely reaching the floor as I mindlessly flip through channel after channel on the TV. There's never anything good to watch on Sunday mornings.

"What hat? Since when do you wear hats?"

I tilt my head curiously in his direction and try to push myself into a sitting position, which, long story short, ends in me clutching an ice pack to my temple and Logan checking me for a concussion.

He looks more than smug as he slides a glass of water and some Advil across the granite island.

"James, how many times have I told you not to lie like that on the loveseat? I mean, honestly, I thought at the worst you might pass out from too much blood rushing to your head, not hit your head on the coffee table, but still...have you learned your lesson now?"

I roll my eyes. "Yes, _Dad_."

Seriously, what normal seventeen-year-old uses the word "loveseat"? Only Logan, I tell you.

I squint my eyes in pain. I'd probably choose the stomach flu over a pounding headache.

I pull the ice pack away slightly, feeling a small brain freeze coming on.

"So...want to tell me what's up?" I ask casually, watching as he rifles through every nick and cranny of the fridge. Oh, all goodness, please tell me he's not looking for the hat in there. He's supposed to be the one with all the brains. Then again, we _do _live with Carlos... If he somehow got his hands on the hat, who knows what he would've done with it...

Logan swings the fridge door shut with a heavy sigh. "What do you mean?"

I shoot him my best knowing look. "Ok, I might have a brain freeze mixed with an almost concussion, but I'm not _that _oblivious. I've known you since pre-school, buddy. You _hate _wearing hats, totally can't stand 'em. You've told me, like, more than a million times that 'they're just not my thing'."

Ok, so, hearts-to-hearts aren't something Logan and I do. It's just kind of...awkward? Something's off, though, and as his friend, it's my job to find out what. Well, that or I'm just straight up curious. Yeah, probably the second option.

He sits down beside me and shakes a black tinted container in front of my face. "If your headache continues, take two of these little babies every four hours. They work like magic."

A smile spreads across my face like butter on toast as I pretend to read the instructions on the label, just for his sake.

"Logan Mitchell, are you really giving me my own personal drugs to take without supervision?" I catch his eyes widen as the thought crosses his mind and I hold back a laugh.

Leaning in a little closer just to scare him, I whisper, "You do know I've only been clean for three months, right?"

Now, much to my entertainment, he really freaks out, lunging across the counter to snatch the bottle back.

"Give me those!" He practically shrieks.

I almost fall off of my stool from laughing so hard as I hold it out of his reach. "I'm kidding! Calm down!"

It takes a good few minutes of convincing for him to relax and actually let me keep the bottle.

After all of the fun, we fall back into our usual comfortable silence for awhile.

"Anyways," He starts, looking at the floor as a very faint, but just noticeable blush covers his face, "Camille said something about really liking hats the other day and I thought..."

My smile drops and I cut him off. "You thought you might impress her if you started wearing them?"

He nods slowly, almost unsure of his own actions. Once again, guilt starts to gnaw away at me as my kiss with Logan's ex-girlfriend replays for the fifty-billionth time in my mind. I feel a strong need to apologize, to tell him how sorry I truly am for ruining his happiness with her, but I know, being the good person that he is, he's already moved past that building block in our friendship. Plus, he's only told me a thousand times that he's getting tired of my constant apologies. I guess I can see how that would get annoying.

I find myself fiddling with the medicine cap and hating how the mood has dampened. "I don't understand how you can do that." I decide to go with instead of another sorry.

His dark eyes dart up to meet mine. "Do what? Pity myself?"

I laugh lightly before the mood becomes serious again. "No...I don't understand how you can change who you are for someone else."

He blinks twice as though he's never thought about it before. That's definitely Logan for you. Always the one who will do just about anything to make someone else smile without a second thought.

He seems to hesitate a little before saying, "Well, I guess...I guess I just care about her enough to make some sacrifices. I mean, Camille is different than any other girlfriends I've had-"

"You can say that again."

He rolls his eyes, lightening up the mood. "She's different than other girlfriends I've had because she's special. She's quirky, unique, and always keeping me on my toes, you know? People might think she's insane, but really she just has this extreme passion for what she does and I think that's really awesome. I know how much you hate it when I get all mushy...but I feel something for her that I've never felt for anyone else. Because of that I'm willing to do pretty much anything for her. I think that's just how love works. You might not get it, but I know someday, James, you're going to fall for a girl who's going to end up having a death grip on your heart and you're not even going to know what hit you. Heck, knowing you, you'll probably have to choose between a girl and your ego."

I frown as he pats my shoulder.

"If that ever happens, I'll be here for you, man."

I half-jokingly, half-seriously shrug his hand off and move away a little.

"Ok, I heard you out, now that's enough brotherly affection or whatever for one day."

He smirks. "Hey, you asked a question and I simply answered you to the best of my ability."

There's a pause in the conversation as I rest my chin on my arms and think a few things over.

"Thank you, Logan." I say seriously, really hoping he doesn't decide to use this conversation against me at some point in the near future.

He smiles warmly at his reflection on the counter and pretends to sweep some invisible crumbs away with his hand. "You're welcome."

There's another comfortable pause until I realize something and almost jump out of my seat. "Hey, we're getting better at these heart-to-hearts!"

Oops, did I just say that out loud? Dang it! I need to start thinking before I speak...

He looks at me like I just downed some pills when he wasn't watching.

Suddenly, though, his facial expression changes to a gleeful one and he tackles me to the floor, shouting, "I love you, man!"

We lay on the ground laughing and wrestling.

"You're such a girl!" I shout.

As revenge he starts messing with my flawless locks.

"Not the hair!" I shriek, slapping his hands away from my head.

This whole thing continues until we hear someone playing with the lock.

We both scramble to our feet, Logan grabbing a knife from the drawer next to him, and me crouching behind him like a little kid. I grab onto his blue polo.

He shakes his head sadly as he turns to look at me. "Who's the girl now?"

While we're both distracted, someone bursts through the door.

"Uh, you guys ok?" Kendall asks, his stare focused on the knife.

Mrs. Knight comes in behind him and sets some grocery bags on the counter. "What's going on?"

Logan shifts nervously from one foot to the other. "Well, we were sort of having a bromance moment-"

I elbow him hard in the ribs and continue as he discreetly tries to _not _fall over on the floor.

"We were just a little distracted and you scared us. That's all." I force a smile.

"Right, yeah." Logan coughs out.

I sigh, relieved, as Kendall just gives us one more strange look before moving on to helping his mom unpack the food.

A few minutes pass and we're all fooling around in the kitchen making jokes about the shape of this piece of fruit and the colour of that one.

"Oh, hey, where are Katie and Carlos?" Kendall asks all of a sudden.

Everyone freezes.

"_Please _don't tell me we left Carlos at the grocery store..._again_."

"Judging by the lack of screaming to be heard from the lobby, I'm guessing we _did_."

There's a chorus of, "He'll be fine. He's with Katie."

*BTR*

I'm totally working the _James Diamond magic _on a bubbly red-head and I'm just about to slide my arm around her waist in one swift movement when I spot _her _across the pool.

My arm hangs in mid-air for a second (that's the second time this week) as I watch.

She's sitting on the edge of the pavement with her legs dangling freely in the water and that _dang _book is the center of her attention, like usual.

This time she's wearing an all black sundress that flows down around her small figure, swaying when a breeze passes.

I'm starting to think that sundresses might just be all she has in her closet, but hey, I'm not complaining. They always seem to perfectly accent her curves and, after all, she _does _look pretty cute in them.

Even from where I'm sitting, I can tell she's completely concentrated and I find myself admiring how she can so easily get lost in her own thoughts. It must be nice to have an escape like that when things get rough. Of course, things _never _get rough for _James Diamond_.

"James, honey, are you with me?"

A thin pair of fingers snapping in front of my eyes successfully brings me out of the trance I was apparently in.

"What are you all smiley about?" The girl beside me asks, clearly trying to hide her frown.

I'm smiling? I bring a hand to my lips just to check, and sure enough, I _am_. I wasn't smiling at _her_, was I? _Oh no_...

"Uh, nothing." I quickly make up some stupid excuse about just remembering I have to go take care of my sickly mother that she seems satisfied enough with, and as soon as she disappears into the lobby, I make my way over to the guys.

Logan's already shaking his head. "Don't even go there." He says, holding up a hand.

I ignore Carlos's "don't go where?" and ask, "What are you talking about?"

Kendall rolls his eyes. "C'mon, we know you were coming over here to tell us your new, supposedly fool-proof plan of winning Trinity over."

"Yeah, and it probably involves something like a snake and another velcro suit. Considering what the results were _last _time, count us out." Logan says, giving me a look.

I scoff. "Pfft, you guys are nuts with a capital N. I was just going to tell you to wish me luck before I try to talk to her again."

Carlos is totally oblivious to it all and Logan gives me another knowing look while Kendall squints his eyes accusingly at me.

"I think the correct word would be _seduce_."

"Whatever floats your boat." I sneer.

He sighs and Logan puts down the magazine he was flipping through, giving me his full attention.

"Look, man, you know we love you, we really do, but she seems like a nice girl, so maybe you should just let her be the one that got away."

Kendall nods in agreement while Carlos just plays with an ant that has made it's way up his leg.

I flip my hair. "I'm _James Diamond_. No one can reject _the face_ and get away with it." I move my hands to pop my collar. "That's not the way I roll."

"Dude, you're wearing a muscle shirt." Kendall points out.

I frown and give myself a quick once-over. I could've sworn I put on my lucky plaid this morning...

"Ugh, whatever. Look, don't be so worried. She was probably just playing hard to get. Some girls like it when a guy tries hard. By the end of today, she'll probably be all over me."

"Yeah, sure."

I wave off the rest of their arguments and make my way over to the other side of the patio, only stopping once to look at my reflection in a window and give my hair a quick fix. Not that I need it.

By the time I'm standing right next to her, she's still too absorbed in her reading to even notice me.

"Hey." I say, shooting her my stunning smile at it's most e_xtreme _level of flirtiness.

I can practically feel Logan and Kendall's intense stares on me. They probably like watching this more than _Jersey Shore_. Well, at least Kendall does. Logan always gives me this big speech about how he's too intelligent to waste his time watching something so immature.

Trinity doesn't say a single word, and for a moment, I wonder if she just didn't hear me or if she's ignoring me.

I decide to take the next step and sit myself down next to her, Indian style. I don't really feel like getting wet today.

As I accidentally (that's what I'm going with if anyone asks) brush my arm against hers, I immediately feel her tense up beside me.

I swear, she suddenly looks like she's trying to focus even harder on the words...

The cover of today's book is in perfect view, but I try to look casually around the area as I ask, "So, what are you reading?"

There's a minute or two of silence and it's like she's debating whether or not I deserve an answer.

"The Call of the Wild." She whispers softly, her voice smooth and innocent.

Ok, so I might not be a total idiot. I _have _heard of the book. Apparently it's one of Mama K's favourites.

"Is it good?" I ask, taking the risk of moving the slightest bit closer. My leg just barely touches hers, and when she doesn't move, I take that as a good sign.

She flips a page. "Yes."

I feel like her voice got quieter, if that's even possible, but I decide to tell myself that I'm just hearing things. Hey, whatever helps me sleep at night, right? Right.

I notice she stopped splashing her feet around in the water, but I push the thought to the very back of my mind, not really finding it to be of any importance.

I put my hands behind me and lean back on my arms, getting more comfortable.

"So what brings you to the Palm Woods?"

I catch her biting the inside of her cheek. "Acting."

One-liners? That's seriously all I'm getting?

I quickly rifle through my mind for something else to say, but I'm kind of drawing a blank.

She isn't much help, either.

It looks like I'm going to have to do all the work.

"What kind of acting?" Dumb question, I know.

Abruptly, she stands, catching me off guard.

I watch the water streak down her beautiful legs and drip onto the pavement, temporarily staining it, before pushing myself off the ground.

Once again, I find that I've got quite some height on her.

"James, I told you I'm not interested." She reminds me, but this time her voice isn't so firm and she doesn't look me directly in the eyes. She stares hard at the ground while she plays with the bottom of her dress.

I try my best to laugh it all off, although, I have this bad feeling in the bottom of my stomach...

"Oh, c'mon, who can seriously resist _this_?" I ask, waggling my fingers in front of my face.

My smirk drops when she slowly looks up at me.

Her pretty brown eyes are surrounded by pools of water.

"Please don't do this to me." She whispers, her voice hoarse and pleading.

A tight knot suddenly forms in my chest and this girl makes me feel something I thought I had successfully shut out of my life: _guilt_.

"Do what?" I ask, now equally as quiet.

She shakes her head. "Please don't treat me like I'm a nobody with no feelings. If you think I don't see the type of guy that you actually are, you're wrong. You move from girl to girl in a heartbeat, treating them all like they exist just for your entertainment. In fact, just five minutes ago you were at the other side of the pool flirting with a red-head and now you're here acting like you're interested in something more than a fun time with a pretty face. I might be shy, but that doesn't mean I'm naive. I will _not _degrade myself by being your fling of the week. I just want to be left alone. So, please, have a heart and leave me out of your sick cycle of life."

She chokes on the last few words, barely being able to get them out, but I hear her loud and clear.

She sucks in a deep breath, clearly trying to control her emotions, just before turning and bolting towards the safety of the lobby.

I'm left staring at the place where she just stood, feeling like a complete loser.

I cautiously look over at Kendall and Logan who aren't laughing at my loss or making fun of me like I expected, but watching Trinity leave with sympathy.

Even Carlos is caught up now, shooting me his best "disappointed brother" look.

I let my eyes drop to the pavement below in shame.

That was the first time someone actually had the guts to stand up to me, and, not going to lie...it actually _hurt_.

I shove my hands into the pockets of my shorts.

After a few minutes of standing around looking like a fool, I realize I should just brush this off like I always do. I mean, she's just another girl, what does she matter?

By the fall, there will be, like, fifty new girls running around that will be perfectly willing to be my "fling of the week".

My affection for Trinity only runs skin deep...right?

*BTR*

**Sooo, I really need to know your thoughts. I have no idea if there's more than a couple people even reading this, so if you are, PLEASE REVIEW! It's hard to continue the story without feedback. ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

**PLEASE READ: Hi, guys! SO, I want to thank everyone for all of the alerts and favourites, BUT I'm not getting very many reviews per chapter. If you're reading this and not reviewing, you're not doing your part. Pleeeeaaase give me feedback in the form of a review! I hate to be mean, but I've decided that if I don't get at least four reviews from four different people on this chapter, I'm not updating. That's not too much to ask, is it? Anyways, I wanted to give you guys some background on Trinity in this chapter. I hope you like it! Enjoi! (Yes, I meant to spell it like that, lol.)**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own Big Time Rush, any of the show's characters, or any official product/brand names I may use in the story. I do, however, own the rights to any OC characters, false product/brand names, and the storyline I have created. My permission is absolutely needed for the use of anything I own on this website. This story is written purely for non-profit entertainment and the writing practice of an amateur.**

**Trinity P.O.V.**

I can feel the soft duvet beneath my skin as I lie across my bed.

My fingers trace delicately over the glass picture frame I hold, outlining my mother's shape.

I roll onto my back, willing the tears to go trickling back into my eyelids before they take their chance to streak my skin.

After a moment of watching the sunlight peer through my curtains and flicker across the photo, I let my eyes flutter closed.

Do you ever get that feeling like you just need everything around you to fade away, if only for awhile? You feel like the world is running at a pace you can't keep up with and you wish for time to freeze just long enough for you to take a soothing breath.

I feel so juvenile as I reach for the pink, stuffed bunny beside me and clutch it tightly to my chest, the soft fur gently brushing against the bare skin of my collar bone.

I use it as a form of comfort, partially hiding my face with the doll.

See, today is my first big L.A. audition for a guest appearance on that tween show _Witches of Rodeo Drive. _

To put it bluntly, I'm not ready.

It isn't practice I need, though. I've gone over that script so many times I think I could probably recite every one's lines, not just my own.

What I actually _need _is something I've always needed, something that's been held out of reach my entire life.

I yearn for a mother's warm smile and encouraging words or a father's supportive hug.

What I desperately _need _is the undying, ever tender love of a parent.

I allow myself to stare at the picture again, my eyes immediately landing on the happy smiles showcased within it.

The man and woman stand with their arms wrapped tightly around each other in front of the most stunning sunset I've ever seen.

_Those are my parents_, I think, this time tracing the outline of my father.

In that moment, that moment where I take a huge step in not only my career, but my life, and walk into that audition room, I need to know there's a mother and a father on the other side of the door, silently praying for me to get the role.

Sadly, I learned in the hardest of ways that you can't always have what you want.

I give the picture one last glance before dejectedly setting the frame back on my nightstand.

My thoughts suddenly take a sharp turn and I picture my uncle, the man who raised me.

In my mind, he smiles like a fool as he chips away at hard stone.

His baby: _archaeology_.

Right now I know he's somewhere across the world probably making amazing finds with my cousin and a crew of highly trained workers that he trusts with his life.

Last I heard he was in Japan...right? Maybe it was Africa...

I try to mentally re-trace my steps and remember the last time I saw him, but I can't even do that for myself.

All I know now is that I get a pretty big cheque in the mail each month and sometimes a five minute web chat with him whenever he has time to breathe. That doesn't exactly happen as often as I'd like it to.

Don't get me wrong, though. I love my uncle with all my heart, I really do.

After all, the man took me in as a baby when my parents passed and has already given up years of his time for me. Which, technically, is one of the reasons I'm here at the Palm Woods, anyways. Sure, I may have dreamed of being an actress for a long time, but as I grew older over the years, my uncle got increasingly antsy to be able to spend as much time at work as he used to. Of course he would never say it, but I could always tell.

So, I researched into the Palm Woods and told my uncle it would be a great place for me to stay while fulfilling my life dreams. He bought the idea and now, here I am.

I kind of wish it wasn't _that _easy. Although I know it's not true, I can't help but feel like he wanted me gone or something.

"Trinity!" Someone calls, and I recognize the voice immediately.

When I reluctantly drag myself out of bed and step into the kitchen, I see my guardian, Jamie, sitting comfortably at the island with her feet resting casually on the stool beside her.

She doesn't bother to look up from the newspaper as she asks, "Hey, kiddo, how's it goin'?"

Her long, dark hair is beautifully curled and the light layer of makeup she wears is perfect, like usual. The tight-fitting, leather jacket she sports really suits her "I'm nice, but I'll kill you if I have to" personality. I would probably laugh at the sight if I wasn't so down in the dumps.

Jamie is practically my sister and I love her to death. I'll never forget the night she showed up on our doorstep, tears staining her pretty face. My biological sister, Zoë, knew her well from school. I had never met Jamie before that night, and I can't tell you how confused I was when my brother opened the door, only to find her shivering there, a heartbroken mess.

I hid myself behind Darren like the scared little kid I was. Apparently, her parents were abusive, and on that particular night it had gotten out of control.

To say the least, her father had gotten wasted out of his right mind and started throwing a serious tantrum.

Her mother dared not to do anything about it and, knowing Zoë lived somewhat close, Jamie ran the whole five blocks to our house in the dead of night.

My uncle couldn't just turn away a vulnerable twelve-year-old girl and leave her on the streets to fend for herself.

A long story made short: my family took her in and, after several long and gruelling court battles, Uncle Davy signed himself off as her legal guardian.

This added another kid to our house of crazy, but I didn't mind. She helped keep my sister's attitude in check, gave my cousin someone closer to his age to play with, and she always offered to help Darren with his homework.

As for me, well, she's just always been there when I needed her.

Jamie's the kind of person you just _have _to love. She's smart, sweet, bubbly, and fun-loving. It didn't take Uncle Davy very long to grow attached to her.

All in all, everything worked out well.

With Zoë gone to University and Darren on tour with his band, that only left Jamie to take care of me in L.A. and, with nothing better to do, she willingly followed me.

"Well, it's going, I guess." I say. There's no point in even _trying _to lie to her. Reading people has always been one of her many talents.

She quirks a thin eyebrow at me from across the counter. "Alright, what happened?" She asks knowingly, setting down the paper and folding her hands neatly in her lap like a young business woman.

I sigh as I sit down across from her and lean on the island. "Nothing, really, it's... you know my audition today?"

She nods.

"Well, it's a huge deal to me and as stupid as it might sound, I feel like I'm doing this alone."

In an instant, she has her arms wrapped tightly around me in a loving embrace. "Hey, you're never alone. I am _always _going to be here supporting you. I believe in you."

I lay my head on her shoulder for a moment, silently thankful that there _is_ someone here to encourage me.

She playfully twirls strands of my hair around her fingers when she pulls away.

"I was actually planning on showing up at your audition, but it was supposed to be a surprise." She pushes her bottom lip out in an adorable pout.

"Really?" I can't believe she thought to do that for me.

"Of course! I want to have your back all the way. Besides, you've worked way too hard for this and if they don't give you the part, someone needs to be there to kick their butts."

"This is why I love you." I laugh, leaning in for another hug.

As insane as it sounds, we actually haven't had much time to talk since we got here, and she _finally _asks the dreaded question that I've been expecting for so long.

"Sooo, meet any cuties yet?" She fiddles with the golden chain around her neck as the words leave her mouth, eagerly waiting for my reply.

Figures she would have her hands all over that while talking about romance. The necklace was an anniversary gift from her boyfriend.

I mentally curse myself as the first thing that comes to mind is an image of James. I had successfully forgotten about him for _at least _the past few hours.

I try my best to pretend I didn't hear her and make my escape, but just as I'm rounding the corner to my room, she jumps in front of me and pins me against the wall.

"It's like you don't even know me!" She starts, "You weren't about to get away that easily. I know that look like the back of my hand. You were thinking about someone! Who is he? Tell me, tell me!"

Geez, sometimes I think she's a ten-year-old trapped inside a young woman's body. It gets scary.

I gently lower her hands from my arms. She's got quite a painful grip.

"Look, there's just this guy who keeps hitting on me. Yeah, he's cute, ok, scratch that, he's _gorgeous_, but he seems like a total player, so I'm not interested."

She nods in complete understanding. "Ah, so he's one of _those _types."

"Yep."

"Well...I know you hate doing this, but maybe it would help to talk about it. You know, let off some steam against the entire male race or whatever?"

At first, I'm strongly against it. _He _is the last thing, I mean the _very _last thing, I want to have myself thinking about. Like always, though, it only takes some annoying persistence and minor threats for Jamie to crack me.

I'm not a very stubborn person and I have yet to decide if that's a curse or a blessing. Right now, I'm definitely going to call it a curse.

She somehow gets me to sit down and talk about nothing except _James Diamond_ for almost an _hour_.

I end up blurting out everything that's happened from our awkward first meeting to the last time we saw each other.

I feel so beyond stupid when I blush at the parts where I describe what he looks like and how I ran off crying the other day.

Jamie stays completely silent through all of my blabbering, and when I'm finished ranting, I take a deep, soothing breath to calm myself.

She's just sitting there staring at me and on instinct, I start mentally running over everything I just said, making sure nothing came out wrong.

Her dark chocolate eyes, much like Logan's, seem to pierce into my lighter ones for an eternity and the only thing to beard is the steady ticking of a clock somewhere in the background.

I shift a little, her bold stare starting to make me uncomfortable. It's like she's trying to look right through me and see my heart.

Finally, she breathes out a heavy sigh. "You may not like what I have to say, so I'm asking you now if you want to hear my honest sisterly advice."

Well that wasn't what I was expecting... I swallow and glance up at the starch white ceiling, thinking things over.

Maybe she's going to tell me I've been over analyzing everything. Maybe I've been too hard on him...

"Okay." The way I say it sounds unsure and almost _weak_.

She looks past me, seeming to stare off into the distance. "Boys are like...like stars, you know? Some are big, bright, and shiny right there in front of your face. Others...well, sometimes you have to squint and look closely to _really _see them. This James guy...he could be everything you think he is, or he could be something completely different. Maybe being a player and a flirt is his cover-up for wanting something more, but having a fear of commitment."

There's a dramatic pause as she takes a breath. "It's like...you have to imagine that there are walls around him and you should always try to look past them before you really judge a person. Otherwise, you might miss out on the best thing that could ever happen to you."

Her eyes land on mine again, silently telling me she wants me to listen very closely to this next part.

"I said all that to say this one thing: give him time."

*BTR*

I'm walking down the broad corridor with my fingers running against the plastered wall.

My mind is racing at a mile a minute as I run over the script in my hands for the fiftieth time today.

I'm trying to get a few last practices in on my way to the audition, which Jamie will meet me at later.

Our one-on-one girl talk that we had earlier is temporarily forgotten, _for now_, and I'm actually feeling better...until the elevator doors slide open.

I almost drop my script when I see him leaning casually against the elevator wall.

He's popping jellybeans into his mouth like a machine gun and humming some tune that's unfamiliar to me.

At first, he doesn't notice me, but when those beautiful hazel eyes lock onto mine, I feel like running for the hills.

Instead, I stand frozen in place, awkwardly staring him straight in the eyes.

For a second, I swear I catch him fix his posture a little, but I tell myself I'm just seeing things.

Everything that happened the other day comes rushing back to me all at once like a hard slap in the face while I open and close my mouth several times, trying to come up with something, _anything_, intelligible to say.

I can feel a blush growing on my cheeks and I can only pray it's not visible yet.

He stares back at me with the same wide eyes, apparently just as blank as I am.

Why didn't I think this through and prepare myself? It was so dumb of me to think we could live at the same place without bumping into each other sometimes.

When the elevator doors start to close, I reach out to stop them, but he's a lot faster. He politely holds them open and steps aside, letting me in.

"What floor?" He asks, offering a small smile.

I immediately let my eyes fall to the ugly looking pattern on the floor. Maybe if I don't actually look at him that feeling in my stomach will go away...

Yeah, nope.

Great, now that stupidly handsome smile will be forever stained on my memory.

"The lobby." I say quietly, like usual.

The beeping of the buttons is the last sound I hear before we step up to the next level of awkwardness and it gets uncomfortably silent.

Seriously, I don't think I've ever felt so..._out of place_ in my life.

I honestly feel like squeezing my eyes shut and chanting that he isn't actually there like a scared kid.

Since I obviously can't do that without looking like a total freak, I improvise and run my hands up and down my arms, an easy attempt to self-soothe.

"So...where are you headed?" His smooth voice startles me out of my thoughts and I don't exactly hide my surprise very well. I whip my head around and stare up at him faster than a bird can chirp. I really wasn't expecting him to say anything more than needed to me after what happened the other day.

He must notice the look of utter confusion on my face because he shyly looks away. Wait, back up. Hold the train, folks. _Shyly? _Since when is the great and arrogant _James Diamond _shy? This is definitely breaking news...

"Look, I'm just trying to make friendly conversation. You know, to make this a little less awkward for the both of us?"

I fold my arms across my chest and lean against the wall for support, mimicking his earlier position.

Maybe _just this once _I can try to play this game his way... It can't hurt to be at least a _little _civil, can it? Besides, the amount of awkward in just this tiny space is off the charts.

"I'm going to an audition." I finally answer, but I make sure to keep my eyes nailed on the doors ahead of me.

I feel butterflies gently tickling the inside of my stomach as the elevator drops hastily to the first floor.

"An audition for what?"

Now my insecurities are starting to get the best of me and I wonder why he's _really_ bothering with this. It's not like he _actually _cares...

I suddenly find myself nervously stroking my arms again, maybe that's because it's surprisingly chilly in here.

Before I can give James an answer, I catch him tense up out of the corner of an eye.

Overly curious, I slightly shift so I can see him better.

From the looks of it, he's hesitating about something.

After a moment, he slowly looks at me, and this time, I don't look away.

There's a certain amount of time in which we just watch each other's every move before he asks, "Are you...cold?"

I glance down at myself, only realizing now that my arms are layered in small goose bumps and I'm wearing a thin t-shirt.

I must've been so distracted with rehearsing that it slipped my mind to grab a jacket...

Lying to him crosses my mind more than once, but what's the point? I'd probably end up shivering just as the words leave my mouth. That would _so _be the kind of luck that I'm used to.

I swallow. "Uh...a little..."

There's another short pause before I hear the jellybean bag crinkling under his touch and when I dare to take a shy peek at him, the genuine leather easily slides from his broad shoulders.

He gives the jacket a quick once-over, as if double-checking to make sure it's clean.

I wonder what on earth he's doing, but before I know it, he's holding it out to me.

My eyes quickly flicker from the jacket, to him, and back to the jacket, shocked.

"I know what this looks like...and I'm not trying to hit on you, I swear. I'm just being a gentleman."

I'm unsure at first, but I soon realize this has to be true because if he was hitting on me he would've put it around me himself.

He gently thrusts it towards me.

I hesitantly accept it, trying my absolute best to ignore the electrifying shock I feel on my skin as his fingers brush mine.

With the jacket wrapped tightly around me, I find myself suddenly drowning in his body heat and this _incredible _scent that's, as cliché as it is, that's like nothing I've ever smelled before. I can't quite put my finger on what it is...

Apparently, James must've relaxed a little because he playfully throws a red jellybean into the air and tries to catch it in his mouth like a bored kid.

When the candy completely misses him and bounces along the floor, he glares at it like it's his worst enemy and my giggle comes out before I have the chance to stop it.

Those incredible eyes widen when he looks over at me. He's probably surprised he actually got me to lighten up. Either that or he just didn't think I had it in me at all to laugh.

Before I know it, he starts laughing too and he's tilting the bag towards me. "Want some?"

I nod timidly, and just as I'm grabbing some jellybeans, the elevator stops and the doors slowly slide open.

It's kind of funny how I stepped in here wanting nothing more than to get out, but now I'm somewhat reluctant to leave...

My hands immediately move to take the jacket off, but he reaches out to stop me. "Don't worry about it. You can give it back later."

Half of me wants so badly to accept this offer (I really don't want to part with the _amazing _smell), but I still don't know him very well and it just doesn't feel right.

I can't start getting caught up in him because he offered me warmth and some sugar. I'm not that easy.

Despite him urging me to keep it, I quickly slide the coat off anyways and hand it back to him.

Confusion passes over his obviously handsome features as he takes it.

I guess he's probably not used to people doing the exact opposite of what he says...

"Thank you for everything and I sincerely appreciate the offer, but I'll manage just fine from here on in."

I pop a single green jellybean into my mouth as I slip into the lobby.

"Have a nice day, James." I say over my shoulder.

I can feel him stare after me, but I keep walking anyways.

"Hey, wait!"

I turn my head back in his direction, wondering if I forgot anything.

"Good luck at your audition." He says, smiling.

I won't let myself think about how boyishly adorable he looks peeking his head through the doors.

Did he stop the elevator to tell me that?

"Thank you." He gives me a tiny nod before disappearing.

For a moment or two, I just stand in the middle of the lobby wondering how we went from "leave me alone" to being on somewhat friendly terms with each other in just one, short elevator ride.

Before people can start giving me strange looks, I turn and head on my way with one phrase standing out in my mind: _Give him time_.

*BTR*

**So, I'm not sure about the elevator scene. Like it? Love it? Hate it? Tell me in the form of a review! Remember, I need to get four reviews from four different people to update :). Also, for those of you who liked that Trinity didn't fall for him right away, don't worry, she's not completely giving in to him just yet. There is drama to come... Teeheehee... REVIEW! ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

**PLEASE READ: Hey, guys! I got more reviews than usual last chapter, so thank you for the support and feedback :)! I must apologize that this chapter took about a week and a half to update, but that's because it's almost 6,000 words. I hope you enjoy! ;)**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own Big Time Rush, any of the show's characters, or any official product/brand names I may use in the story. I do, however, own the rights to any OC characters, false product/brand names, and the storyline I have created. My permission is absolutely needed for the use of anything I own on this website. This story is written purely for non-profit entertainment and the writing practice of an amateur.**

**James P.O.V.**

I run a hand through my hair, loving how lusciously soft it feels, as I make my way to the breakfast table.

I plant myself on the seat next to Kendall, purposely elbowing him in the process. "Don't I look _especially _great today?"

I would give my signature wink if he wasn't a guy.

"Why? Trying to impress a certain someone?" He mumbles through a mouthful of Lucky Charms.

I rudely lean across him to grab the cereal box and smirk as I notice Logan suspiciously peeking at me over the top of the newspaper he's reading.

_"Maybe." _

The braniac rolls his eyes in frustration and dejectedly sets the paper down, clearly about to start an argument, or a "mature discussion" as he likes to call it, just when Mrs. Knight whirls around from the stove. She comes sauntering over to the table and sets down a plate of fresh toast as she takes her usual spot at the head of the table.

This affectively makes Logan shut his mouth..._for now_.

I can tell Kendall's already somewhat giving up on keeping me away from Trinity. What can I say? With a face as stunning as mine, he should know that I can't be tamed and no matter what he does, I'll still get my way in the end. It's just who I am.

Logan, on the other hand, is practically a walking, talking _moral_, and because of that, he's relentless. He'll constantly keep reprimanding you about your behaviour until he becomes this invincible voice of reason in your mind that drives you insane. Trust me, it's happened more than once.

Anyways, I _almost _learned my lesson when Trinity snapped at me that one time, and I _may _have felt a little bad for awhile, but then the elevator ride happened, and _bam_. We're right back to where we started.

I mean, maybe she was just having a bad day when she yelled at me. Maybe she didn't mean anything she said. Whatever, it really doesn't matter.

All I know is that it's definitely going to take a lot more than a girl shouting to get me to stop hitting on her. I'm like a shark, words aren't going to change me. Although, if anyone were to ask me about that _tiny, _completely unfamiliar pang of guilt in the back of my heart, I'd lie and tell them it doesn't exist. I'd tell them it never will, not romantically, anyways.

"So, boys, as soon as we're done breakfast, I need one of you to do me a favour." Mama K says, breaking my train of thought.

When we all groan insync, she puts her hands on her hips and gives each of us the _look _in that motherly way of hers, signalling that we're about to get an earful.

I almost groan again, but thankfully for everyone in the room, I stifle it this time.

"I put a roof over all of your heads and keep you healthy, happy boys! The least you can do for me is take a few minutes to run a quick errand."

I feel like smacking Kendall upside the head when he opens his mouth to speak. This isn't going to be good at all...

"But, _Mooooom_," He whines, "How come Katie never has to do anything?"

Mrs. Knight huffs. "Because it seems a little strange to send my ten-year-old to greet the new neighbour and don't you argue with me, Kendall Knight, or I'll be forced to whip out the pictures of your chubbier baby days. I'm sure your friend Jo would absolutely _love _to see how adorable you were."

I laugh at Katie's triumphant smirk and how she sticks her little tongue out at her older brother from across the table. Hey, she might be devious, but she's still cute.

It takes me a minute, but suddenly, I realize what Mrs. Knight just said.

My "What new neighbour?" comes out at the exact same time as Logan's "He was chubby?"

Like always, Mrs. Knight seems overly pleased with Logan's question and shifts her position to face him. "Oh, yes, dear, he was-"

"_Mom,_" Kendall squeaks as he grabs me by the shoulders, "James here is curious about the new neighbour."

Geez, I'm glad _someone _in this house hears me when I talk, even if it's for his own gain.

Much to Kendall's relief, this successfully distracts Mrs. Knight from his embarrassing past and Logan gives us his best glare (which, really, isn't all that intimidating) as she turns back towards us.

I'm too lazy to get my own drink, so I carelessly steal Carlos's cup when he isn't looking. Of course, he's too busy being Captain Oblivious to notice.

Seriously, I could probably take it right in front of his eyes and he wouldn't know what's happening.

"Oh, right," Mama K starts again, "well, she moved in two doors down and I think, if I heard right, her name's Trinity."

The orange juice literally goes flying and shoots all across the table, soaking everything in it's path.

Unfortunately for him, Carlos happens to be on that path...

Kendall's hand quickly flies to my back when I start choking on whatever didn't make it out of my mouth.

When I finally get my breath back, I notice Logan shaking his head as he hastily runs a cloth over the mess and Carlos glaring at me, the sticky substance dripping from his chin.

"What? Usually you'd be laughing." I quickly defend myself.

Everyone pretty much ignores Katie's "You guys are so stupid. I'm out." This is followed by the sound of a door opening and closing.

"Yeah, I might be laughing if I wasn't _drenched _in your saliva!" Carlos shouts.

I scoff. "_Please_, this is coming from the guy who once ate a spider for a bet!"

His eyes widen in shock as if I've just revealed some major secret of his. Seriously, I thought Camille was supposed to be the drama queen of the Palm Woods.

"I was eight!" He hollers back.

Well, this seems to be a very touchy subject for him... I definitely need to remember that for the next time I'm in need of a good blackmail.

All of a sudden, Kendall's hysterical chuckle drifts through the room as a half-eaten piece of toast comes flying at my head.

I almost do a face-plant into the hardwood floor as I duck beneath the table. Man, Carlos has wickedly good aim...

I pat my beautiful hair down, making sure no damage has been done, before reaching for the tub of butter...

"James Daniel Diamond, don't you _dare_." Mrs. Knight is using her most threatening tone, the one that says she won't hesitate to make sure I never see another 'Cuda product for the rest of my life if I turn her kitchen into a slippery war-zone.

The mental image of my hair a frizzy mess is enough to make me shudder and quickly drop the greasy condiment back into place on the table.

_Thank you, imagination. _

This doesn't mean I'm giving up, though.

_James Diamond _never loses a fight. Ok, maybe I have once or twice, but who's counting?

"He started it!" I wine like a six-year-old.

Logan, who's just recently finished playing babysitter and cleaning Carlos's face, tiredly massages his temples.

"Honestly, how are you such a chick magnet? You constantly act like a toddler in his terrible twos..."

"Yeah, love you too, Logie." I sneer.

Like usual, my sarcasm goes completely ignored as he lays his head on the table, trying to shut everything out.

Ok, so, I might sometimes feel a _tad _guilty that I annoy him this much, but hey, he's always told me to be myself and that's exactly what I'm doing.

See, technically the stress is his own fault.

All Mama K has to do is firmly hold up a hand and everyone immediately shuts up. She pretty much raised the three of us (besides Kendall) and do you know what that means? That means she knows absolutely _everything _about each of us, which means she has a million and one secret weapons she could use to make us behave.

_"Enough." _She says, starting to clear off the table.

I'm surprised she hasn't, like, _exploded_ yet from putting up with all of our crazy antics and even helping us get out of trouble with Mr. Bitters sometimes.

"So, which one of you is going to take the muffins Katie and I made to the neighbour?"

Kendall and I both give her a pointed look.

"Fine, Katie made them, but you know I don't do well with baked goods!"

The blonde shakes his head as he stands and places a quick kiss on her cheek.

"Sorry, Mom, Jo and I have a date planned and I'm already running a little late..." He explains, slipping a leather jacket around his frame and slowly backing away towards the door.

Well, that was totally predictable. Him and his girlfriend are practically inseparable these days. In fact, I'm surprised he even ate with us. Whatever, as long as I don't have to see them together. I have to agree with Katie on the fact that they're totally gag-worthy and gross when they're being all lovey-dovey. Of course, Mrs. Knight thinks it's the most adorable thing in the world.

When she gives her usual nod of consent, he makes a fast escape and is out the door in one swift stride.

_One down, three to go._

"Well?" she asks expectantly.

Carlos is way too eager to volunteer. "I'll do it!" He yells, now jumping up and down.

I watch, amused, as she rests a hand on his shoulder, letting him down as gently as possible.

"Sweetie, you know I don't trust you to be left alone with sugar."

He does his best puppy dog pout and stares down at the floor, all excitement lost with the flip of a switch. "I know."

She gives him a sympathetic peck on the cheek before moving on.

_Two down, two to go._

I'm almost relieved for a moment when Logan hesitantly opens his mouth, probably about to fascinate her with some chemistry experiment he was planning on doing today, but suddenly, he gets that look of realization in his eyes and I have to jump at my chance.

"I'm free, I can do it!" I wince at how desperate and overly-eager I sound. Maybe Logan's right about the toddler thing, after all...

"But I almost never get to know new people! It's only fair that this is my turn!" He argues, losing his calm composure.

I mentally smirk at how he's starting to panic. He's made it clear a thousand times that he doesn't want me anywhere near that girl.

"Well, at least you're all eager helpers." Mrs. Knight pats him on the head, completely oblivious to what's _actually _going on.

"Although, James asked first, so maybe next time around, Logan." She gives him a quick hug. "Sorry, honey."

A few moments later, when Mrs. Knight leaves to get a clean dish cloth and Carlos heads to the pool, anyone else would expect Logan to throw a fit, but I know him too well for that.

He calmly sets the rest of the dishes and silverware in the sink, acting as though the room wasn't filled with happy conversation just a minute ago.

Sometimes his go-to way of dealing with conflict is ignoring it.

"Oh, c'mon, buddy, you've got to relax a little. Everything will be fine."

He spins around to face me, frustration coursing through his dark eyes.

"Everything might be fine for you, _James_, but have you ever, even _once_, stopped to think about Trinity's feelings?"

Well, I've tried _not _to, but that plan hasn't exactly been one hundred percent successful...

When I don't answer, he continues, "Allow me to point out what you probably won't let yourself realize: _she's not like the others_. I hardly know her and I can already tell she isn't like the usual Hollywood airhead, "Jennifer" types you go for. She's a _real, genuine _person with a heart."

He stops to run a hand through his hair as he lets his gaze move down towards his favourite black Nikes.

"Just forget it. Who am I to tell you what to do?"

He quickly moves to push his chair in, the legs screeching loudly against the floor, before turning and stalking off to his room.

Before I hear the door slam shut, he throws one last thing over his shoulder and I'm not even sure if I'm meant to hear it: "Someday, I hope you learn your lesson."

*BTR*

I hesitate at the door of 2L, my fingers gripping the basket handle so tightly that my knuckles are turning white.

I feel like such an idiot standing in the middle of a public hallway with this _enormous_, girly basket.

As if the pink, metallic bow attached to it isn't bad enough, we're nowhere near Easter, which means there's really no excuse for a 6'1" guy like myself to be carrying something so embarrassing.

I mean, maybe even if it were Valentine's Day it wouldn't be so bad, but _no_, it just has to be an ordinary day.

When I complained to Mrs. Knight that I look like Little Red Riding Hood (minus the little part), she huffed and threatened to make Logan do it, but I _couldn't _let that happen. So, obviously, here I am.

Thankfully, I haven't seen anyone around yet and I definitely don't plan on anyone seeing _me_. It's not like I have much to worry about, though. Everyone's probably chilling at the pool, anyways.

I take a deep breath and stare blankly at the starch white door in front of me, wondering when I started getting nervous around girls.

Well, ok, maybe just _one _girl in particular.

It's probably because Logan's been getting on my back so much and constantly drilling his opinions into my brain...

I pinch the bridge of my nose and try to forget _anything and everything _he's ever told me. He's just being too uptight and Logan-like. The moment I let him get to me is the same moment I become a person who cares about _feelings _and all of the stuff I've been living just fine without.

Knowing I can't stand around all day, I shift the basket to my other hand and pull my lucky comb from the back pocket of my jeans.

The little tool shimmers under the light of the hall, looking as brand new as ever.

"Hey, baby." I whisper, gently running a finger over the smooth plastic. "It's been too long."

I make sure to smooth out every single precious lock of hair before bidding my sweet darling a temporary farewell.

I give myself a twice-over, making sure every aspect of my outfit equals _perfection_...but then again, do I really need to check?

Forcefully shoving my nerves away, I tell myself _the _James Diamond never gets nervous. He's far too good for such a petty emotion...or, rather, any emotion at all, apparently...

So, I'll play pretend and turn myself into someone completely invincible.

Leaning against the doorframe now, I transform into someone cool and collected, someone who flies high on the top of the world without ever getting knocked down.

My strong fist makes a steady rapping sound against the wood and after a moment, I start listening to the feathery footsteps that come closer and closer until...the door starts to swing open.

_Cue the curtains opening and the start of the show. I hope the performance goes well. _

The cocky smirk slides naturally onto my face when she makes her appearance.

Those beautiful brown eyes widen innocently, probably surprised to see me.

"Hello, James." She says politely. There's slight curiosity to her tone, but other than that, her voice is the same as always: smooth and soft.

"Hey." I reply, flashing my radiant smile.

I can't help but notice how her hair falls freely today, the golden curls prettily spiralling down around her face and resting just below her dainty shoulders. Since I'm used to seeing her with straight hair, I find myself wondering if these stunning curls are natural or not...

_Ugh, James, stop being such a girl. _

I'm trying _really _hard not to stare, but seriously, she's probably _by far _the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen. I mean, honestly, she's not just hot, she's more than that. She's _beautiful_.

Her gaze flickers timidly to the basket in my hands and then quickly back up at me as though she's afraid I'll see her even taking so much as a two second peek at it. It's like when you watch the seemingly still flame atop a single candle, movement happened so fast you're not sure if you imagined it or not.

"What can I do for you?" She asks, gently swinging her door back and forth across the hardwood floor beneath her feet. It's probably a nervous tic...

That's a good sign, right?

I use my elbow to push myself away from the doorframe and stand at my full height, pretty much towering over her.

"These muffins are from my guardian, Mrs. Knight, and her daughter, Katie, as a 'Welcome to the Palm Woods'."

Her face shines with happiness as she hesitantly bites down on her bottom lip.

Finally letting go of the door, she reaches out to twirl a thin finger around the ribbon.

"Oh, that's so sweet." A sincere smile has crawled it's way onto her face, making her look all the more innocent and beautiful.

My own lips twitch as I try to hold back my smile, but I'm unsuccessful. I can't change how adorable she is.

What is wrong with me? James Diamond does _not _do adorable...

It's like I have an angelic version of myself on one shoulder telling me how much I just want to hold her and talk to her, hug her even.

On the other shoulder sits the devilish version of myself, the one who's been constant in my life. He does a great job of reminding me how I've always been a casanova who's only wanted good arm candy and a fun time. He tells me that getting emotional just means getting hurt and that that's not what I want in life.

Despite my inner battle, apparently I'm able to keep a collected, outward composure because Trinity isn't shooting me any strange looks.

She glances up at me again and I carefully tilt the basket towards her with an arched brow, silently insisting she accept the gift.

"Thank you." She says.

A heart-warming smile graces her lips once again as she swiftly slides her fingers beneath the basket.

I hate how disappointed I am when they don't touch mine.

I shift the weight onto her hands and just as I let go, she starts to stumble backwards with the basket ready to crash to the floor.

Instantly, my reflexes kick in and I grab the handle, steadying it.

She clings tightly to the basket and regains her balance as I slip a hand beneath it, getting a better grip.

Suddenly, burning fire is set to my sense of touch as I become extremely aware of the soft, smooth skin that meets my fingers.

_Her hands are still on the basket. _

I try hard not to gulp, but all of a sudden it's like my mouth has become a dry desert and I'm fighting to get even a single breath. It's like I'm choking on something non-existent.

Against my will, I swallow, hoping she doesn't catch my sign of weakness.

There's this _feeling _in my stomach...something strange that I've never felt before. It must be those 'butterflies' that people always talk about, if not that, what else could it be? _No, no! _I do _not _get butterflies... I'm just...not feeling well or something...

Warmth leaves me when she slowly pulls her fingers away, immediately making me miss the feeling.

Our eyes lock together for an awkward second or two before she takes a step back, leaving the muffins in my care.

She shyly looks down at the floor and pushes a beautiful strand of blonde hair behind her ear.

"There must be, like, a gazillion muffins in there or something. It feels like an anchor to me." She laughs.

The sound is a light, harmonious refreshment compared to the piercing, nasally laughs of the girls I usually talk to (besides Jo and Camille, of course). It's contagious and just because of that, I laugh a little, too.

She shifts from one foot to the other. "I hate to be an inconvenience, but would...would you mind bringing it inside for me? It's a little too heavy..."

I smile at her nervousness as I nod a little. "Sure, it's no problem."

With a grateful smile, she opens the door wider and steps aside, letting me in.

The place would look exactly identical to our apartment if it weren't decorated so differently and when Trinity moves ahead of me and goes to the kitchen, I take this as a chance to marvel at her home.

The style is a nice blend of elegant and quirky with all sorts of knick-knacks and stuff placed around.

In some areas there are famous Renaissance paintings that I recognize hanging on the walls and in others there are neat, toy-like decorations that look like they're from all over the world.

Her place is almost like an antique shop with so many cool and fancy things that you would never see anywhere else.

I smirk, realizing this would be like a personal Promised Land to Logan.

When I see a row of picture frames lined up neatly along the top of a plain white shelf, I want to get a closer look, but knowing I'm still in Trinity's line of sight, I intelligently decide against it. I don't need to look like a creeper.

I guess the home really _can _tell you about a person. No other teenage girl I know would live in a place as incredible as this.

"James, can you set that on the island, please." Her voice startles me out of my thoughts and when I look over, she's sitting at the counter trying to conceal her timid amusement. I must've kind of lost myself in looking around...

"Uh, sure. Sorry, it's just that your apartment's pretty cool."

I make my way over to her and gently set the basket down, the tiniest bit relieved when I don't feel the weight on my hands anymore.

"Thank you, but a lot of the credit for this place should go to my sister, Jamie. She helped me figure out how I wanted to design it."

My eyes curiously sweep over each visible room again, taking it all in.

"It looks like you travel a lot." I comment, staring straight ahead at the _Mona Lisa_ painting hanging near the balcony. That must be pretty freaky to have in her house at night...

She shrugs meekly. "I guess you could say I get around."

There's a moment of awkwardness where I stand around, unsure of what to do next. Am I supposed to politely leave or keep making small talk?

Abruptly, she pushes the basket back towards me with a simple, "Try one."

Well, I wasn't really expecting an open invite to stay, but hey, it works. Still, I was raised to be a gentleman about these types of social situations.

"Are you sure?" I ask, "They're for you and I think Mrs. Knight will kill me if she finds out I laid a finger on one."

She gives a reassuring smile and pushes the basket even closer towards me. Man, she's making this too tempting...

"Go ahead. You've had to smell them this whole time and besides, you shared your jellybeans with me the other day."

I smile, observing this as a good point. I can always use that fact as a shield of defence against Mama K.

I nod in agreement. "Alright, but only if you eat one, too."

"Deal." She laughs, the melodious sound like birds singing to my ears. _Happy and joyous. _

When we accidentally reach for the same muffin, our fingers lightly brush against each other again, sending that shock through my skin. I have to refrain from pulling my hand back as though I've just been burned by a hot stove.

Instead, this time I'm the first to make a move and I delicately slide my fingers away from hers, awkwardly laughing it off.

"Great minds think alike." I nod towards the muffin. "It's yours."

When she hesitantly takes it, I pick a different one and settle myself on the stool behind me.

I guess this could be more awkward... Hey, the day could be worse. I'm sitting around relaxing with a pretty girl. What guy wouldn't want that?

I almost moan to the Heavens when the chocolate chips melt in my mouth.

How in the world can a _ten-year-old _bake like this? Then again, when it comes to Katie, why am I even surprised? I need to get her to cook more often...

"Since you're here," Trinity starts, "would you mind doing me a favour?"

I watch as uncertainty shows in her eyes and she peeks at me from behind those beautifully long lashes.

Not sure what I could be getting myself into, I agree anyways and follow her to the other side of the kitchen, both of our partially eaten muffins abandoned.

"Earlier today I tried this new lemonade recipe, but Jamie's been gone for awhile, so I haven't had anyone here to taste test it for me. Since you could probably use something to wash the muffin down anyways, do you want to try it?"

She looks so hopeful and eager that I just can't say no.

"Sure." I say, standing off to the side while she rifles through the fridge.

Her head is turned in just the perfect direction where she can't see me, allowing me the chance to admire the view.

I note, for the first time, that she's dressed much differently than all of the other times I've seen her.

The dark skinny jeans work well with her curves and the classic black and white "Beatles" tee is a bold choice compared to what other girls here at the Palm Woods, in the heart of the glamorous Hollywood lifestyle, would wear.

I smirk as I catch sight of the fluffy blue slippers on her feet. At least she's ok with wearing whatever's comfortable for her.

My gaze wanders back up to her face and I find myself watching her every little movement. Sure, I've caught myself staring at her before, but this time it's like I'm actually _studying _her.

Her pretty eyes shine and glisten in the light of the fridge, almost making them a different shade. Her hair is illuminated by the glow, too, making it look even more bright and angelic.

The look on her face is one of pure concentration and I realize she must be lost in her own thoughts. I get some sort of pleasure out of seeing her muse. It feels nice to see her natural and relaxed.

I'm starting to realize that her cheeks are always painted with a soft shade of pink, making her look alive and healthy. It only deepens when she blushes.

My eyes fall on her lips which, being a deep, rosy pink, are quite the opposite of her cheeks. They look so soft and..._inviting_.

I've lost track of myself in a moment of being overcome with her beauty and suddenly, the hormonal, teenage boy in me starts to take over.

As I draw nearer, her vanilla sugar perfume seems to become the core of my atmosphere. It wafts through the air and forces itself to me, intoxicating me like an illegal substance.

Her hair whips across her face when she turns around, and I'm _right _there, leaving our bodies pressed together.

Those dazzling eyes immediately widen with fear and a sharp gasp slips from her mouth.

The transparent jug she's holding clatters to the floor with a loud crash, leaving the contents to splatter and streak both of our legs. Whatever doesn't splash us clearly seeps across the floor in a big puddle because it doesn't take long for me to feel it soaking through the thin soles of my shoes.

My heart is screaming that this is a horrible idea, but my mind seems to speak differently.

I'm not a patient guy, I can't wait forever to make my next move. She seems to be warming up to me, so the time is now...right?

Before I can properly give myself an answer, my speech suddenly moves faster than the rest of my other senses.

"You're so beautiful." I blurt out, even startling myself.

This should be noted as a historic date or something. It's the first time the great popstar _James Diamond _has ever called a girl beautiful to her face, rather than, well, something more..._provocative. _

Confusion crosses over her features and meets fear somewhere in the middle.

Before she can do or say anything, I start leaning down, getting closer and closer until our warm breath starts blending into one, invisible cloud of air.

Suddenly, I feel her hands on me and I swear, my heart thuds against my chest a little faster.

I don't expect what happens less than a split-second later, though.

These same hands push me backwards with all of their strength and a voice that sounds so unfamiliar shrieks, "Get away from me!"

I stumble back into the island, a light sting piercing through my spine when I hit the sharp edge of the counter.

Trinity's now backed into the silvery fridge like a kid running from a monster.

Her breathing is extremely heavy and laboured while her eyes have taken a sort of neurotic look upon themselves.

The next thing I know, she comes a step or two closer again, only for me to feel the burning sting of her slap coursing through my skin.

My fingers rush to clutch at my face, the strong pressure slightly easing the pain.

Man, she might be a tiny thing, but _dang_, she's got quite a powerful blow.

For a second, maybe even just a nanosecond, I see a certain emotion pass through her eyes, one that I easily recognize as guilt.

It's the same thing I see in Logan's eyes when he snaps at someone innocent like Katie or Carlos and the same thing I see in Kendall's eyes when he upsets Jo.

As soon as I put my finger on this, though, it's gone.

We now stand at opposite ends of the kitchen, staring wildly at each other.

She takes a deep breath and decides to shatter the painful silence.

"What was that? I thought I made it clear that I'm _not _into you."

I wince at the way she stresses this like I'm some disgusting bacteria that she can't seem to get rid of.

I blink twice, still a little shocked at everything that's just happened.

"But you invited me to stay and-"

She's quick to argue, "I was being friendly!"

I swallow, seeing now that maybe I took everything the wrong way.

Is she _really _not into me? How can anyone honestly reject _this _face?

She rests her hands on the counter behind her for support and sighs as she stares at the tiled floor.

"You need to leave." She whispers.

I stay nailed in place, thinking I should say something, but really, we're too far beyond words making anything better at this point.

Logan was right. _Trinity _was right. Maybe we'd both have been better off if I just left her alone like she told me to.

So, without bothering to make any arguments (this is _her _apartment after all), I stumble towards the door, my mind too blown to process a single thought at a time.

Just as I touch the door handle, she says one more thing: "Please tell Mrs. Knight and Katie that I'm very grateful for the gift."

Because her voice is so quiet and vulnerable, I dare not cast a glance back at her.

I nod, dumbly, having no idea if she sees this or not.

When I swing the door open, I come face to face with a girl I've never once seen before.

The first things I notice are that she's tall and thin with curly hair. There are brown grocery bags piled up in her hands and when she looks me over, I realize she has dark, accusing eyes like Logan.

She opens her mouth to say who-knows-what, but I rudely push past her and out the door before I can get into anymore trouble today.

Thankfully, 2J was left unlocked and I make it inside as soon as possible.

Having shut the door as quietly as possible, so no one comes out to see what's wrong, I lean against it and let my eyes flicker closed.

What just happened?

Much to my dismay, I start to hear footsteps crossing the room.

My eyes fly open in a flash and I try not to look so flustered, but my attempts happen too late.

Logan stands across from me with an accusing look on his face.

How he heard a sound so quiet? I'll never know.

He folds his arms across his chest and heaves out a sigh. "What happened...and why do you look like you peed your pants?"

**Sooo, I really think this story sucks. I can write a lot better but it's hard to make the chapters the best they can be when you're trying to keep weekly updates going. Anyways, tell me what you think and please review! :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**PLEASE READ: Hello, kind readers! I owe each and every one of you an apology for not updating in over a month. I've been having trouble getting motivated to write. See, I like the idea of this story, but I feel like my writing is horrible and that's been like a building block in my way. I truly am sorry for the wait. Maybe I can be a little forgiven since this chapter is so long *puppy dog face* :)? Anyways, please enjoy this chapter.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own Big Time Rush, any of the show's characters, or any official product/brand names I may use in the story. I do, however, own the rights to any OC characters, false product/brand names, and the storyline I have created. My permission is absolutely needed for the use of anything I own on this website. This story is written purely for non-profit entertainment and the writing practice of an amateur**

My eyes, set radiantly aglow by the light of the day, watch intently as the thin trails of water streak down the doors like long, slender fingers covering everything in their reach.

Rain in the middle of heat wave L.A.? What a refreshing change of pace.

I lift a hand to the cold glass and delicately trace patterns there, my mind starting to wander off and lose itself in the beauty of nature. Through the blurry haze, it's just barely possible to make out the shapes of people bolting for the safety of the lobby, some with jackets over their heads; others using things like books and towels to shield themselves from the pounding rain.

I've never understood how anyone can fear something so beautiful. Then again, I've never really understood normalcy in general. Being different has its pros and cons.

This cloudy day started out with little drops pelting the glass here and there, hardly making enough sound to stir a person, but now the water launches itself down to the world harder than ever.

I gently lay my head against the door and allow my eyes to flutter closed in a moment of serenity.

For the first time in a week, I actually smile at something that makes the average person depressed.

Focused on the seemingly endless rush of water, I'm beyond grateful for such a steady distraction from my problems.

_One drop. Two drops. Three drops. Four drops... _This proves to be somewhat therapeutic and like the rain washes the windows, it's almost as if for a moment, it washes away my problems, too...until I open my eyes.

I'm still trapped in the same Palm Woods apartment with nowhere else to hide. Of course, Jamie has to be out running errands, like usual, and I'm left all alone with nothing but my thoughts to slowly drive me to my breaking point.

After a long mental battle, I decide that maybe fixing myself up a little wouldn't hurt and I force myself across the space that separates me from doing so.

As soon as I step in front of the mirror, though, I regret it.

_"You're so beautiful." _The words wrap tightly around me like an iron chain engraving its mark on my flesh and suffocating my heart. It's like every part of my soul has suddenly become heavy with feelings that no one should ever have to bear.

It doesn't take a doctor or a therapist to figure out what's going on, though.

The anchor that's weighing me down? Well, he likes to go by the name of _James Diamond_.

A tainted image of him leaning down towards me, his lips slightly parted in expectation, sears through my mind, leaving its damage in the form of a brutal scar that has yet to be healed.

If people say their heart is in the pit of their stomach when they're upset, then the jagged scraps of mine surely rest at the tips of my toes as I once again see the lust in his eyes, the _physical _hunger.

I gently rake my fingers over the girl who stares back at me in the mirror, cloudy-eyed and thoughtful.

She looks different with that frown painted on her features and those exhausted, blood-shot eyes are so unfamiliar to me.

_This _is what I've been afraid of. From the first moment I met him, I could tell James Diamond is the kind of guy who makes an impression you won't soon forget. He has a way, not a subtle one at that, of making an impact on your day whether you want him to or not. He's not the goody-good best friend you see in the movies who loves the girl for her personality (her beautiful looks just being the cherry atop the ice cream) or the stranger who admires from afar and lets her be with the one she chooses (even if that guy _really _doesn't deserve her and it won't be long until she sees that). He's the one who switches girlfriends more than outfits and doesn't have the slightest care about who gets hurt in the exchange because life is solely about _him_.

I wish I were more confident and careless of what people think, so I could just brush him off like an annoying fly and have that be the end of our storyline. Although, here I am, doubting myself because of some spoiled, arrogant popstar.

I don't want to be this and I never asked for it. I don't want to be like the girl in the movies who can't sleep at night because of a guy who doesn't deserve her. I don't want to be that girl whose confidence withers down to nothing and suffers because of another's ego and pride. Yet, because life will never be fair, I _am _that girl.

I jump as a loud pounding on the door shatters my thoughts. Thinking maybe it's Mr. Bitters checking up on things, I give myself one last critical glance in the mirror before silently moving through the apartment.

Glancing through the peephole is forgotten as I fiddle with the lock until it comes undone (yeah, I should probably get that fixed at some point...it's a good thing I'm a patient person).

When I slide the door open, I can feel my mouth drop open in shock and my eyes widen with surprise.

Logan stands dripping wet in the middle of the hallway with Kendall next to him, fist raised in mid-air to knock again.

They're both panting like they've just finished running a long-distance marathon and the panic is clear in their eyes. The hem of Logan's polo is ripped to shreds and he only has one shoe on while Kendall's hair is completely dishevelled and sticking up all over the place, his face beet red.

Let's just say it takes me a good few seconds to get my jaw working again. I definitely wasn't expecting...well..._this_.

"Uh...I don't have a fire extinguisher, but there's one down the hall..."

As if me saying anything at all was a good enough invite to come in, both boys hastily push past me without giving a response and stumble into my apartment like they've known me my entire life or something.

I blink, _hard_, wondering what on earth is going on here. These guys really do put a whole new meaning to acquaintance.

I'm completely baffled as I watch Kendall rush to slam the door shut and re-bolt the lock with shaking fingers.

"Um...hi?" I say, not sure if I actually want an explanation or not.

Logan nervously rakes a hand through his midnight-black hair, little water droplets hitting the hardwood floor as he does so.

"We're _so _sorry to just barge in like this, but it's kind of an emergency."

Yeah, I can see that.

"We were out to lunch when a bunch of crazed fangirls recognized us and chased us all the way back here." Kendall pants, waving his hand around for emphasis. He's leaning against the wall for support and so out of breath that he's barely able to get the words out.

I quickly usher both teens over to the island and force them to sit while I get some water, not really caring that they're soaking my furniture. If I didn't to do something fast, Kendall would surely collapse on my floor.

"Not to be rude, but your apartment is only two doors down. Why didn't you just hide there?"

"We would've, but _someone_-" Logan gives his friend a pointed look, "-forgot his house keys and Mrs. Knight is at some new mall out of town."

As Kendall rolls his eyes, I notice for the first time that they're a beautifully mixed blue-green colour...not something you see very often.

"I already told you, man! Katie probably stole them as some kind of sick practical joke."

Logan shakes his head. "Whatever." He turns to me. "I hate to intrude, but would you mind if we hung out here for awhile, Trinity? We don't really have anywhere else to go..."

How is anybody supposed to say no to that adorably sheepish face?

"It's no problem." I carefully slide two crystal glasses across the countertop like a bartender, the water sloshing around and almost spilling over the rims. It's not like it matters, though. The place is practically a pond already with them dripping everywhere.

"Actually, I've been kind of lonely hiding out here ever since..." I almost slap a hand to my forehead when my brain catches up to my mouth and I realize what I was just about to say.

Here's an awesome lesson kids: always think before you speak. Apparently, I didn't catch myself in time because their heads snap up at this.

"Go on." Kendall urges, his eyes grown large with curiosity like a child on Christmas morning.

Logan stops mid-sip and nods vigorously, encouraging me to continue.

My mind goes into full throttle action as I try to come up with a believable lie that's at least half-intelligent. How could I be stupid enough to let something like that slip to his _best friends_? The clock is ticking away and somewhere in the room an invisible hourglass is quickly running out of sand. My brain is working from the adrenaline of the moment and gearing into overdrive. It's spinning fast with a million different thoughts all trying to take over at once. The sad result of this? _"James tried to kiss me!" _Words just spill out of my mouth like sickening barf that can't be stopped...sometimes you don't expect it and when it's over with, there's a disgustingly sour aftertaste left in your mouth from what's just taken place.

I can feel the hot, uncomfortable blush spreading on my face from what I've unwillingly admitted. It's the very first time I've said that out loud (nope, I haven't even had the chance to tell Jamie yet...) and I can honestly say it _doesn't_ feel good to get it off my chest. It feels like if I keep my problems buried deep, _deep _inside and never unleash them from their cages, then maybe I can have an _inkling _of strength to tell myself lies about how I'll be okay. If I talk about my problems, then they're all the more shoved into my face at every second of every day. Yes, for this girl, James Diamond trying to kiss me is a _problem_...and a huge one at that.

I'm shocked (although I really shouldn't be) when only the slightest bit of surprise flashes through Kendall's eyes and Logan stares calmly back at me, as if expecting something more. Great...now I'm left to feel completely awkward and confused in the last hiding place I have, the one area that's supposed to be a personal safe haven.

I've only been here for a few weeks and I can already count on my fingers the bad memories that I have in this little apartment.

I can't tell you how long we all endure a staring competition, each of us hoping someone else will break the silence.

Finally, Kendall loudly clears his throat and looks down at the tiled kitchen floor. "Uh...well, if it makes you feel any better, James tries to kiss every new girl around here."

_Cue the dagger jabbing at the surface of my already bruised and bleeding heart. There goes that mental alarm again, warning me that there's only a matter of time before the knife sinks into me and slices straight through my lifeline. _

I wince, but quickly cover it up and try my best to act like that _wasn't _an emotional blow. Why can't I be like a normal teenager and not feel so affected by things that shouldn't matter?

Logan forcefully smacks Kendall on the arm and gives him a threatening look. In return, the blonde glares right back, silently waging war with his eyes. "_What? _Haven't you ever heard the saying that it's better to rip the bandage off fast?"

Before an argument can ensue, I butt in. "It's okay. Kendall's right."

"I am?"

"He is?"

These guys must be seriously amazing singers, otherwise I think between the four of them and their shenanigans they should have their own comedy show. Hey, I might get some laughs out of it.

I find myself looking anywhere but at their eager faces and lowering my voice to a more shy tone as I say, "Yes. After all, I already know your friend is a player...which is exactly why I _didn't _let him kiss me."

There's an uncomfortable pause in the conversation and my reflection on the squeaky clean island becomes the center of my attention.

After a moment, I hear one of them let out a depressed sigh. "James can be..._intense_ when he wants something, which means he won't give up on you so easily."

Logan fingers the collar of his shirt. "A word of advice from someone who's known him almost his entire life: the harder you play his games, the stronger he'll pursue you. In his world, except for a very rare exception here and there, there's no such thing as friendship with the female race."

He glances casually at Kendall, who's sitting Indian style atop the stool now, and then back at me, a firm look in his eyes. "I guess what I'm trying to get at is...there's only two options here: either you choose to be with him or you never have him in your life at all. That's just the way it goes with James Diamond. Make your decision now before you find yourself completely caught up in a messy situation that you don't want to be in."

I quietly run a hand through my long, sun-streaked hair, letting his words melt through my flesh and sink to the parts that matter most: my heart and my mind.

_You choose to be with him or you never have him in your life at all... _A pang of sadness oozes from my heart like scarlet blood from a cut and spreads through my body.

I can't help but hate _myself _for what _he's _made me feel. He hasn't yet known me two months and already he's got me..._feeling _things that no girl should ever feel for a guy like that. Don't get me wrong, he definitely hasn't got me hook, line, and sinker like every other girl he's ever met, but those eyes are as hypnotic and at the same time as alluring as the Cheshire cat himself. He's like the poisonous berries you're always taught not to eat when you're a little kid...delicious looking enough to draw prey in, but the beauty is only a false lie because behind it lies a danger more harmful than you can imagine.

My hands are folded together, gripping each other so hard the knuckles are turning white under the stress of the conversation.

"Why are you helping me, Logan? Isn't he like a brother to you?"

His raven black eyes flicker and contort with guilt like a flame lapping at the night sky before they regain their usual composure.

"Yes, and I love him, but he doesn't always make the right choices."

Our stares bind together and mesh in a moment of strongly understanding one another as I realize for the first time in my life that maybe all of these years I've been independent because I just haven't found the right people to be friends with. In these sharp, dark eyes that reflect me, though, I see a sincerity that warms me to the heart. I see a sincerity that just can't be faked and I feel myself easily handing over my trust to the boy with the crooked smile and the spiky black hair.

With James, every little thing has to be a challenge in itself, but with Logan, every little thing seems to come naturally and relaxed. It truly is a wonder how opposites attract and form some of the best friendships out there.

The piercing sound of stool legs screeching across the tiled floor sounds in my ears, and before I can even register what's happening, both boys are at the balcony doors, their faces pressed to the glass like excited little children.

I slowly wander after them, all the while wondering what the fuss is about.

Their eyes, a pair of jade and a pair of ebony, are pinned to the outside world along with disappointed grimaces that are painted onto their features.

I've snapped just enough out of my daze to note that the rain has picked up speed and is slapping fiercely harder against the balcony now.

"Aw, man! We've been planning all week to set up a street hockey tournament in the park today. This is Los Angeles, for goodness sake! I figured the rain would clear up by now..."

"I _did_ warn you of the predicted forecast-"

Kendall smacks his friend upside the head, but clearly not hard enough to do any damage.

"Can't you see I'm mourning the loss of a perfect day here? _Not _the time to be the I-told-you-so brainiac, Logan."

The rest of the conversation (or maybe _argument_, rather) becomes a blurr as I silently slip back into my own little world, a place that consists of a council of me, myself, and I.

Could Logan really be right? A tiny scrap of my heart buried deep, deep inside of myself has been carrying around a slit of light, hope, that maybe one day James and I could learn to be friends. At least being friends making small talk would be much better than having awkward silences when we inevitably bump into each other here and there. After we come out of _whatever _this current relationship would be classified as, anyways...

An even smaller piece (of my heart or brain I'm not sure) carries a sort of attraction to him that I plan on taking with me to the graveyard. It's the kind of secret that I'll lock up in the safety of my own mind and throw away the key to. After all, no one can invade my thoughts, so what should it matter that I have trouble resisting his well-practiced charm? Probably, I've only joined a worldwide group of girls who couldn't, either...

If I listen to one of his best friends, one of his own _brothers_, I have to make a life decision..._now_, and the fact that I struggle between the options, well, it's a little more than scary... Maybe I'm not as strong, but really, more naive than I've always thought myself to be...

Suddenly, the overwhelming urge to just go somewhere where I can properly _breathe_ fills me. I want my brain to stop feeding me thoughts for just _one_ moment of peace.

I long with possibly an unhealthy desire to shut everything off and act like the normal, spontaneous teenagers that I see flooding this place. Is that too much to ask?

Flicking a curious gaze to the raindrops that trickle down the glass on a determined mission, a thought finally crosses over to the good side of my brain.

I'm already across the apartment, jacket in hand, before the guys even have the chance to ask me what I'm up to.

"There are freshly washed towels in the bathroom and the hall closet that you can use to dry off and there's more than plenty of food in the fridge. Please, help yourselves."

To their curious glances I answer, "There's something I need to do." With that, I'm gone.

*BTR*

Peeking around a corner, I give the lobby a quick once-over, relieved at what I find. There isn't a single teenage girl in sight who doesn't belong here. Then again, there isn't _anyone_ in sight. The storm brewing outside must be keeping everyone pent up in their rooms, probably watching corny moving marathons and stuffing their faces with every fatty food under the sun...

"All clear."

Kendall's sigh of relief comes before Logan's, and I figure it's probably harder explaining to your actual girlfriend why you look and smell like you've had other girls all over you than your ex-girlfriend who you're still in love with.

Yes, I've heard all about the infamous Jo and Camille. Not from the guys, though. They're quite famous around here, but really, who isn't at the Palm Woods? Oh yeah, me... _Shut up, Mr. Brain. _

Logan and Kendall were so curious about where I was going that they chased after me and insisted they come with. Thinking the company might be kind of nice, I wasn't reluctant to let them...and that's how we got here now, sneaking around on the first floor.

Despite everything seeming peaceful and quiet, I think all three of us are equally as worried that a fangirl might jump out from some crazy hiding place and attack. You can never be too careful with these stalker situations...

To be on the safe side of the fence, so to speak, I make a daring bolt through the foyer with the boys hot on my heels.

Bitters looks as, well, _bitter _as usual and as soon as he lays those accusing eagle eyes on us, a hand instinctively swoops into the air holding up a "NO RUNNING IN THE LOBBY" sign.

I've never been much of a rule breaker, but they say it's never too late to start fresh, so I guess it's never too late to start bending and breaking the thin lines between good and good stirred in with a tad of mischief. It's almost like that saying: "Live a little. Run with scissors." Sometimes when you're a goody-two-shoes, can't-have-the-picture-slanted type of person like me...it can be _exhilarating _to taste the fires of rebellion on the tip of your tongue (no matter how simple a rule you break) as long as you don't get burnt.

The grumpy old manager shouts after us, but we keep dodging around the furniture until I come to an abrupt halt at the entrance to the pool, my hand quickly reaching out to grip the doorframe before I jolt forward and do a painful face-plant into the cement.

Kendall's body slams heavily into mine and Logan's into his as the "train" stops. I feel the taller boy take a step or two back, his arms wrapping tightly around himself as protection from the cold air rolling in.

"What are we doing at the pool? It's _freezing_."

For a moment, I'm far too distracted by the scene before me to answer him. Heavy, pounding sheets of rain pour down from the gray sky as what most people would call the angels' tears, but I choose to call it the angels' tears of _joy_.

This magical water shoots down to the ground beneath our feet and helps living creatures all across the world thrive. It's an absolutely _gorgeous_ sight, definitely better than watching it through a window.

Long strings of it stream down from the top of the doorframe like the swinging beads on the doors of a fortune teller's house. It's like these first wet spirals act as a warning, alerting everyone that if they so much as set their foot even an inch out the door, they'll get thoroughly soaked.

"_I'm _going out there." I finally decide.

I've stuck myself in my apartment like a chicken in a coop for who-knows how long now and I think, for the time being, I've had more than _enough _of that. It's time to loosen my death grip on reservations a tiny bit and act a little crazy for once.

"You're _what_? Not to be rude here, but are you _nuts_?" Kendall's hysterical voice sounds in my ear, the obvious confusion not very well controlled.

"It's so beautiful." I whisper, sticking out a few fingers to "test the waters", literally. The rain snakes down my skin, lightly tickling it on the way, and slowly drips off the tips of my fingers, leaving a strangely pleasant, chilled feeling behind.

What some would think to be a twisted smile creeps onto my lips, but in my mind, it's just the deeply thoughtful grin of a girl in the midst of admiration.

I catch Logan shrugging his shoulders, a hand resting on his chin. "Well, the chances of getting a cold or even pneumonia are fairly high-"

Kendall glances sharply at him with a brow raised as if saying, _"Don't start. Not now." _

"_-but_...I was going to say: if she wants to frolic in the rain, let her. After all, it is a free country."

Kendall shakes some loose hair out of his eyes and raises his hand in a playful salute. "Aye, aye, future Mr. President."

As Logan dives into a strongly-worded lecture about how he's told his friends more than a thousand times that he wants to be a surgeon, I make a split-second decision that's probably the most spontaneous thing I've ever done in my entire life.

Without leaving time for second thoughts, I spring over the threshold and into the wildly wet outdoors.

I _should've _clung my jacket even tighter to my body and zipped it up all the way, pulling the thin hood over my vulnerable hair. I was planning on going out all along, but I _should've _slowly eased myself into the flood of rain. Maybe it _should've _taken a while of self-convincing.

Instead, I just thrust myself into the powerful downpour. I _chose _to shut my mind down, if only for a few seconds in time...a skill I didn't know a girl like me could possess.

You know what? It feels _fantastic_. Every single part of it does: the rain drumming an unsteady rhythm down on my little body, pouring over my flesh, seeming to wash away my thoughts and finally slow my heart to a relaxed pace; the fact that I'm suddenly living right here and now in the moment, memorizing each physical and emotional feeling in this scene. For once in my life, I can just..._lose myself_.

I can feel the smile spreading fast across my mouth like a wildfire in a forest, the ear-to-ear grin threatening to split my face in two. I swear, listen closely enough and you can practically hear the tear of flesh.

I might be completely soaked and cold to the touch, but I feel so _free_.

On the other side of the door, Kendall's lips slowly create a smile and even through the showers of rain I can see the amusement sparking in his eyes.

A booming laugh slips from his mouth. "You really _are _nuts!"

My hair falls down around my face and sprawls across my cheeks, damply sticking to my skin.

I widely spread my arms apart as though I'm being frisked, loving the feel of the water cascading down my arms and meeting my fingers at the end of their path.

I want someone else to join me in the excitement of being spontaneous and I want someone else to see the magic instead of the cold, dreary sky.

For the first time in awhile, I _don't _want to be left alone. On a whim, I holler, "Come be nuts _with_ me!"

There's a moment's hesitation where he just studies the rain streaking down from the Heavens, a look of uncertainty dawning in those crystal clear orbs.

After a moment or two of watching him debate with himself, he shrugs. "Aw, what the heck! I already got soaked once today."

He makes a failed attempt to start through the door, dragging a reluctant Logan behind him.

The rain pitter-patters against my weathered jacket.

"_What? _I merely stated the fact that what she does is up to her. That doesn't mean _I'm _willing to go out there. I've had enough water for one day."

Logan tries to pull away and run for the hills, but Kendall stands his ground. "_Come on. _You only get to live once, you know."

"But-" Before Logan can finish, Kendall launches him outside and then thrusts himself through door.

I have to stumble back so they don't come flying into me.

_"Kendall!" _

The blonde rolls his eyes. "Have a little fun!" That sounds like something someone would say to me...

I tilt my head back under the gray sky and let my tired eyes fall closed, smiling as water climbs down my face and drips off my chin.

When I woke up this morning, I had no idea I'd be standing glued to the ground in the middle of a California rainstorm...how much more random can a day get? At that thought, a quiet laugh tumbles from my mouth. It starts out slow and almost unsure, but soon, it builds up to the point where I'm twirling around in the rain, laughing hysterically as the water drenches me.

There's a time in which Logan and Kendall both stare at me like I'm a mental patient before the hilarity of it all just becomes too much and the three of us find ourselves exploding with laughter. Why? No one will ever know.

The skirt of my dress flies as Kendall reaches for my hand and spins me beneath the dark clouds. My hair whips through the air as I twirl, blocking my vision, and when I lose my footing on the slippery cement, he makes sure to steady me.

A round of shouts can just barely be heard from the lobby, but Mr. Bitters will give up eventually, and even if he doesn't, it's okay. It doesn't matter because if only for a moment, my world has finally stopped spinning on its axis. _Nothing else matters. _

The rain streaks down from the sky and falls over us like a heavy blanket, blinding me to the reality of life. It's almost like being on a substance high. For awhile, your pain is masked or at least put at bay, but in the end of it all, you have to wonder if an hour or two of fun is worth your anguish being doubled when you wake up in the morning. Everyone has to come back to earth at some point, no matter how exhilarating or epic their high. It's like the law of gravity...the circle of life. Sometimes living seems much too merciless a thing to endure.

Logan's soft skin binds with my own as he swiftly slides his hand into mine, taking his chance to spin me 'round.

I'm in mid-twirl when I see _them_ and my laughter doesn't even make it to the tip of my tongue because it pulls to an unsteady halt in my throat and gets caught there for a moment before it completely vanishes, along with my joyous smile.

_James and Carlos. _

My heart clenches in my chest and droops down towards my stomach, the beats pushing just a little faster against my body.

They stand awkwardly at the other side of the pool (probably just having gotten back to the Palm Woods from someplace), jackets held over their heads to shield from the oncoming rain.

My eyes probably bulge out of my head when I see them standing there. If Kendall and Logan were bad, then James looks like he got caught in the eye of a tornado. Not only is the stitching of his leather jacket (don't ask me how I know it happens to be his favourite one) torn to bits, but his hair is _more_ than a sopping wet disaster. Remind me never in my life to buy 'Cuda hairspray for anyone. Apparently it's not strong enough to hold up against the nightmare mixture of rain and vicious, OCD fangirls. Then again, what is?

Different lipsticks and sparkly lip glosses are smeared all across his face and he's covered in visible scratches and skin dents, clearly from the overly-long nails of a billion prissy, hormonal teenagers.

Instead of finding this hysterical like a normal person would, I can't help but feel overwhelmingly bad for him...for a few seconds. It doesn't take long for me to remember who I'm looking at here. For all I know, the great and wonderful _James Diamond _probably loved all the attention.

Cowering behind him, Carlos isn't as bad, but he's still on a Logan/Kendall kind of level. His hair (short as it may be) is somewhat tousled like he just rolled out of bed, but his clothes made it out better than everyone else's with only a few tears here and there. The worst of it is that he has light scratches lining up and down his tan arms and he seems to be wearing the least attire, making him twice as cold and dripping wet. The poor thing looks traumatized more than anything else.

Logan and I stay frozen in place, our hands still linked together high in the air.

"Uh, yeah, we might've forgotten to mention that we sort of lost Carlos and James in the crowd of crazy stalker girls..." Kendall whispers in my ear.

He offers a little smile, silently conveying his apology.

I guess reality came back and knocking sooner than expected.

James' gaze drifts over Logan and I's joined hands, trying to appear casual. Anyone else might only see his usual lazy, uncaring expression, but in his eyes I see a speck of jealousy mixed in with a little curiosity lying beneath the hazel surface like an undertone to his poker face.

Maybe I'm better at reading people than I thought, or maybe he's just becoming too predictable. Either way, I gently slide my hand out of Logan's.

The last thing I want is to cause a scene between two best friends.

Suddenly, a piercing sound ripples through the air, making us all snap to attention and my hands fly to my ears.

I turn to see Mr. Bitters standing just inside the door, a bullhorn in hand. "Can't you read the sign?" Oops, must've missed that...

"The pool area is _closed_! Now get inside or you're all banned from the pool for the entire summer!"

I hear Carlos squeak from behind me and Kendall huffs. "Oh, c'mon!"

"Yeah, isn't that a little harsh?" Logan pipes up.

Bitters gives them an aggravated, I'm-too-busy-for-this look. "_My _hotel, _my _rules!"

A chorus of groans can be heard as we all reluctantly trample into the lobby, water dripping down our bodies and onto the ancient carpet. Thankfully, Mr. Bitters has already gone back to munching on his junk food stash or we'd be in double trouble.

As it turns out, Kendall _did _forget his house keys and Carlos happened to grab them on his way out this morning. The boys are on their way to the elevator so they can go get cleaned up when something pops into my mind: _"Why are you helping me, Logan? Isn't he like a brother to you?" "Yes, and I love him, but he doesn't always make the right choices." _

Even though he and James are best friends, Logan willingly gave me the best advice he could to save _me_, a girl he hasn't known very long, from getting hurt. I've never met anyone who has shown me that much compassion so early on in a friendship. If that doesn't speak volumes about what kind of a person he is, I'm not sure what does.

As he walks away, I feel myself gently grab him by the arm and pull him back into an embrace...a bold move for someone as quiet and kept to their self as me.

He's a little tense at first, before his muscles ease and relax under my touch.

Squeezing tightly, I whisper, "Thank you."

I don't think much more needs to be said. I get the feeling that he understands what I'm talking about...even the deeper meaning behind my words.

This afternoon, despite the way it ended, was like a hand unlocking my birdcage and setting me free from behind my bars, my _boundaries_, for awhile.

I _needed _this afternoon and the great company only made it all the better.

He nods slightly against my shoulder and I can't tell you how much longer we stand there hugging.

I try my best to ignore the pair of hazel eyes that I can feel boring into me like two dangerous laser beams that'll burn you if you don't know your way around them. Knowing _he _is watching me like a hawk feels a little unsettling, but like Logan said, it's a free country and therefore, I can hug whoever I please.

The two of us pull away from each other and exchange one last pair of smiles as a final farewell before he follows his friends into the elevator.

I turn away before the swoosh of the doors is even heard and drag my sopping wet self back through the lobby until I've plopped down into one of the comfortable lounge chairs. I figure that Bitters isn't paying attention to me anyways, and by the time he gets word of the soaking wet chair, I'll be long gone. I've had a tiny taste of freedom and now I just can't bring myself to follow _every _rule today. By tomorrow, I'm sure I'll be back to being a goody-two-shoes, but sometimes you just need to _live _and not worry about consequences.

My head falls carelessly back against a cushion and a long sigh seeps through the slit in my lips. A picture of James watching Logan and I in the rain pops up from behind closed eyelids and dances in my mind like a haunted memory.

Thinking about it now, I realize you could almost say he looked..._hurt_. That little dagger of guilt slices across the surface of flesh and etches a mark onto my heart. This time, I don't even have the will to stop it frozen in its tracks.

Today I learned that it's okay to have fun and shut your thoughts down for awhile, but sooner or later, you also have to get the juices flowing again and let your mind have its control.

Without emotions and depth, the problems we face can't disappear and leave us to rest in peace. So, really, I'm right back at the starting line, facing a choice.

_"Boys are like...like stars, you know? Some are big, bright, and shiny right there in front of your face. Others...well, sometimes you have to squint and look closely to _really_see them. This James guy...he could be everything you think he is, or he could be something completely different. Maybe being a player and a flirt is his cover-up for wanting something more, but having a fear of commitment." _

Jamie's words echo around my head and stir up new thoughts. If she's right, that would mean it will only take the right girl to change James' ways.

What if fate wants that girl to be _me_?

_"...__you choose to be with him or you never have him in your life at all." _

Having two different people giving me two different pieces of advice is making things a bit more complicated. Am I supposed to listen to a friend, a _sister_, who's known me almost my entire life, or am I supposed to listen to the boy who's known _James _almost his entire life? There's so much to consider...

My eyelids are starting to feel like heavy weights and when I blink them open, they only stay like that for a few seconds before helplessly falling closed again. I've been losing a lot of sleep lately and suddenly, I don't feel so hyperactive anymore...

My hands drop limply into my lap and my body becomes numb against the chair.

Before I know what's happening, my thoughts start to transition into an alternate universe. The darkness that I know hastily transforms into another world that's painted in my imagination as I completely fade away...

*BTR*

The light of day stretches across the room and comes crawling up the quilt, finding my kryptonite. It glows in my eyes, forcing me awake.

I find myself wrapped in my sheets, yesterday's clothes still around my body (now dry, of course).

I'm confused and a little dazed when I come across my jacket set neatly at the foot of the bed. I don't remember putting it there...

Every puzzle piece starts to connect as my memory comes back. I must've fallen asleep in the lobby, but then, how...?

When I reach across the bed to hold the jacket in my arms, an unmistakable scent that I've come to know drifts up to my nose: _'Cuda. _

*BTR*

**Soooo? Thoughts? I hate to beg, but I really need the feedback to keep me writing this. I'm the kind of person who has to have something motivating me. Anyways, thank you for reading, whoever _you _might be ;)! I hope everyone has a wonderful day :).**


	7. Chapter 7

**PLEASE READ: I am sooo sorry I haven't updated in forever! In all of life's business, sometimes it can be very hard to find the motivation to write. I hope you guys understand :). I will try my darndest to update more. Also, I'll be going on more than one vacation in the next couple of weeks, so if I don't update for awhile, that's why. But I'll try to. Enjoi! ;) **

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own Big Time Rush, any of the show's characters, or any official product/brand names I may use in the story. I do, however, own the rights to any OC characters, false product/brand names, and the storyline I have created. My permission is absolutely needed for the use of anything I own on this website. This story is written purely for non-profit entertainment and the writing practice of an amateur.**

**James P.O.V.**

A bright flash goes off, quickly followed by another. The snap of a camera is heard here and then there.

The paparazzi pushes to the front of the crowd as I stroll down the glowing red carpet, a winning smile painted onto the face that a million girls have hanging on their bedroom walls.

A wink is not-so-subtly shot at the gorgeous brunette in the strapless dress on the left and then at the blonde with the lipstick-stained wine glass on the right.

Notepads are shoved into my face while hundreds of fangirls endlessly scream and plead for me to give out my autograph. Others beam at me and wave as if I'm one of their oldest friends.

A young girl with pigtails that bob up and down giggles shyly when I plant a tender kiss (that really doesn't mean anything) on her hand (that she'll probably never wash).

Glittering ball gowns and porcelain faces with plastic smiles line the carpet, but there's no denying that all eyes seem to be on me in my shining gold tuxedo.

Eager reporters swarm around me like wasps determined to be the very first to find that sweet nectar.

"Mr. Diamond, give us the scoop on any upcoming projects you're involved in!"

Another radiant smile and a well-practiced flip of the hair (what I would call the _"millions-maker"_).

"Well, I begin filming a new movie in the fall-"

"James?"

My head jolts in the opposite direction and my toonie eyes weave through the jam-packed crowd of bodies.

I would recognize that soft-as-satin voice anywhere. She couldn't possibly be here, could she?

A head of thick blonde curls pushes through the commotion, but when the young lady pauses to speak to someone in the crowd and I catch a glimpse of icy blue eyes, I know she's not the girl I'm looking for.

Maybe I was just being paranoid and hearing things...right?

Someone gently grabs my arm, but when I turn, the touch is replaced with a group of expectant faces.

A bold reporter takes his chance to step a little closer. "Mr. Diamond, could you repeat that?"

"There are rumours spreading around that you're seeing Jessica Moore. Care to Comment, Mr. Diamond?" A younger reporter.

Everything blurs and my thoughts jumble together in a trainwreck of utter confusion. I could swear on my own life that I heard _her_. Am I really hallucinating?

"James?" I swing around while my name is still fresh on the tip of her tongue, but this time, I'm abruptly met with a sheet of black behind my eyelids.

The sound of cameras going off slowly fades into birds chirping and people chanting my name transforms into people quietly talking amongst themselves.

I lay numb for what feels like a long moment or two before reality finally makes its greeting.

My eyes unwillingly squint open to be welcomed by the Palm Woods patio and one of the first things I notice is that the sun is hanging in mid-sky. Its rays sear into my eyes, burning them and cruelly punishing me for falling asleep while tanning.

"A lesson well-learned." I mumble. Don't get me wrong, though. I'm not one of those crazy losers who can hold an entire conversation with themselves and feel fine about it, but hey, I can't help it if a sentence or two slips out every now and again.

I'm just about to rotate myself like an oven skewer and block my face from the sun when someone beside me softly clears their throat.

An irritated groan slips from my mouth and I squirm a little on the beach chair. Rule number four in the official James Diamond guide book: _never _interrupt me while I'm trying to relax.

"Mr. Diamond isn't available right now, so leave a message after the beep: _beeeeep_."

I let my eyes fall closed again, expecting the mystery person to go on their merry little way, but the offender's dark shadow remains hovering over me like an unshakable haunted feeling. I can get _very _cranky when I'm tired.

"Okay, I don't know if you speak English or not, but you're blocking my sun. Now shoo."

The object of my current annoyance heaves out a sigh as if _I'm _being difficult.

"Fine, we'll play this immature little game your way. Hi, James. It's Trinity. When you're done acting like a spoiled, self-righteous prince, I'll be in the lobby."

My heart drops a beat or two before I force it to start up again. _Trinity. _Well, that explains the dream...

When my posture instinctively becomes a little better, I lamely tell myself that I'm doing it for the mother who always taught me to keep my shoulders back and my back straight.

My aviator shades slide down my face with ease. Sure enough, the little blonde has her back turned to me and her feathery footsteps pad across the cement as she walks away.

"Hey, wait!" The words spill out of my mouth and into the open before I can stop them.

What on earth has come over me? Girls are supposed to beg _me _not to leave them, not the other way around.

She freezes on the wet cement, but keeps her back turned on me. I guess she's stubborn, then...and probably still mad at me for trying to make yet another move on her.

"Is there a reason you're being particularly obnoxious today, or do you always embrace your inner five-year-old like this?"

My natural instinct is to make a horribly snide remark in return, but somehow this girl has me re-thinking and I settle on, "I don't think five-year-olds tan, Trinity."

A smirk dances on my lips as I mentally thank my good old poker face. Always there when I need him.

She hesitantly turns to face me again and it registers somewhere foggy in the back of my mind that she looks kind of cute with her arms crossed heatedly over her chest.

Apparently this fuels her fire because her gaze is a little harder than I'm used to seeing.

"Ever seen pageant shows?" A challenge laces through her words, revealing her frustration in plain sight and I only vaguely wonder what she could be upset about before the thought is pushed along by my next one.

"If we're going to get technical, then I'm guessing they use spray tan. It's a little different."

I stretch out in my chair, getting a bit more comfortable. As I watch her roll those innocent Bambi eyes, I catch the sun shimmer through them like a single shock of electricity. Unbeknownst to her, it adds light to the dark cloud of frustration taking precedence in them.

"What does it matter _how _you tan? It all comes with the same result. You end up looking like a piece of fried chicken."

My attention is brought back to her words and a mock-gasp seeps through my lips.

I playfully slap a hand over my mouth. "Take it back!"

Those eyes run over my skin, thoroughly examining the tan, before she gives a little shrug.

"Sorry, I've never been known as a liar."

Usually I might feel insulted, but my smirk only grows. I have no idea who kidnapped Trinity and replaced her with this sassy doppelganger in front of me, but I might just like this banter for a change of pace.

I decide to go for the double 'c' approach, careless and casual, by looking at the other people around and pretending to be disinterested in the conversation. "Whatever. The ladies like it and that's all that matters."

"Actually, I know one lady who wouldn't want a guy that looks like a plastic Ken doll."

This has my hazel eyes immediately locking onto her chocolate ones again. My nonchalant attitude slips through the cracks at the invisible snap of her fingers.

Her stony glare never falters and we stare at each other in the deadest silence I've ever experienced.

A gentle breeze rustles her golden hair. Splashing water is heard. Someone laughs across the patio. A child or two (maybe three? four?) run by, hardly noticed. Everything continues around us, but we stay trapped in our own little bubble of deafening silence. A few seconds suddenly feels like a gruelling eternity.

My mind spins and swirls with a thousand thoughts that can't be tamed. Does she not think I'm handsome? Is that why she doesn't like me? How could any girl possibly resist a face like this?

I'm positive that neither of us are going to let up until I notice that her eyes are starting to soften a little. Some unreadable emotion acts as a tiny light penetrating through the dark clouds and the frustration slowly vanishes from her eyes, but I can see a wall of protection still standing guard.

"What were you doing in my apartment last night?" There's a tightly controlled calmness in her voice, but even beyond that I can hear a demand rather than a question.

My face burns with heat that I can only pray isn't visible and my throat suddenly feels like I haven't had a drink in days. It's like if I open my mouth, I might choke on air.

That's the very last thing I expected her to say and it catches me completely off guard. How did she find out? I thought I was careful...

My brain rushes to find some way out of this and suddenly, a light bulb glows in my mind. This is like when you're a little kid and you get yourself into trouble. The best thing to do: blame it on someone else. If there's no one else to blame it on, like right now, denial is key. Thankfully, I was in a few school plays back in Minnesota.

"What are you talking about?" I laugh. "I was at the movies last night."

She quirks a thin eyebrow and squints accusingly at me. "Cut the act, James. We both know where you were last night."

This time my laugh comes mirthlessly and it's my turn to fold my arms over my chest.

"Do we really? Because I remember watching the blood and gore of Saw Six last night."

I smirk as she cringes a little before regaining her composure. She's clearly good at keeping herself collected, but the fire in her eyes is growing again, reaching new heights. She's a ticking time bomb and it won't be very long until she's finally ready to explode. Pushing her to her limits is kind of fun, actually.

"You're lying." She hisses. The anger is rising and boiling over like steaming hot lava faster than I expected.

"Got any proof?" I challenge.

Before I know it, she's ripping her jacket from her dainty frame and harshly whipping it at me. It hits me right in the face.

"What the-"

"I found it on my bed this morning with your cologne all over it. Care to explain?"

All my hormonal, teenage boy ears seem to hear is that she knows my cologne and I wiggle my eyebrows suggestively. "You have my scent memorized." A hand moves over my heart, feigning sincerity. "I'm touched. Really, I am, but that's a bit too stalker-ish for my taste."

Her face flushes a deep scarlet, but with rage or embarrassment, I'm not sure.

"Are you stupid or something?" She snaps, pulling the infamous hands-on-your-hips-when-you're-angry card. I know that move all too well.

"I guess this is what happens when you wear so much Cuda' that the fumes start to kill your brain cells." She huffs. "I borrowed your jacket once, remember? Since you wear, like, a bottle a day of that toxic waste, it was a little hard not to inhale it."

She pauses for a short breather, but before I can even get a single word in and defend my precious 'Cuda, she starts up again like a re-charged Energizer Bunny. "And Logan once mentioned something about you being obsessed with that brand..."

I squint up at her through the thick sunlight streaking across the patio. "Logan? When did he become your BFF?"

I inwardly wince at how tense and..._jealous _I sound. Why have you suddenly deserted me, Mr. Poker Face?

Trinity glances at me like I'm a blindly dumb fool. "When two people live in the same building, they tend to bump into each other sometimes."

Yeah, right. Either I'm just being paranoid (pffft) or there's something more going on... But Logan's still in love with Camille, right? That's what I'll keep telling myself.

"Anyways, we're getting off topic. Just tell me what you were doing in my apartment." She says.

I open my mouth, fully prepared to enter another round of denial with my boxing gloves on, but she's a bit faster than I expected.

_"Please." _

I'm given a look that says she's just too exhausted with this to argue anymore and I actually feel the slightest little sliver of guilt. It's enough for me to only make one last weak attempt at weaselling my way out of this.

"Would you go away and stop pestering me If I told you it's a long story?" I sigh.

By admitting defeat, I'm doing something the great James Diamond _never _does. I'm letting someone else win.

Her sweetly pink lips lift into an endearing little smile at her victory.

"Actually, I'd say..." She crosses the gap of pavement between us and to my surprise, gracefully plants herself at the end of my beach chair, beside my feet.

Glancing back over a slender shoulder, she says, "I've got _plenty _of time."

**FlASHBACK**

_The moon was already dangling high in the sky when the elevator doors slid open with a squeal and I was greeted by a dead lobby. _

_It was so silent you could literally hear a penny hit the carpet. Slow night at the hotel, I guessed. _

_"Yeah, I know I'm late. I realized at the last minute that the stripes on my polo didn't match with the high tops I was wearing. I was having a fashion crisis, so I had to call in the stylist and change a few times. What's the big deal?" I said into my cell phone. _

_A sleepy (and a very grumpy) Mr. Bitters signalled for me to keep it down while he did some paperwork behind his desk. I rolled my eyes, deciding that he was probably just doodling things like bunnies and cats in a notebook..._again_. _

_"Kendall, chill. I'll be there in a few." I whispered. __Somewhere in the room a clock struck nine. _

_"What movie are we seeing, anyways?" _

_I was making my way towards the exit, careful not to make too much noise because even if Bitters was being ridiculous, I could still get in trouble for not following his rules. Another week without precious pool time and I thought I might end up in a hospital for withdrawal from my tanning addiction. _

_As I mumbled complaints about that sappy romance movie Camille had been dying to see, my feet led me on a shortcut across the middle of the lobby. _

_I was quietly weaving in and out of the ugly old furniture when a flash of blonde appeared in the corner of my vision. _

_On natural instinct, my eyes wandered to find a head of light hair sprawled messily across the back of a lounge chair, a gentle snore only now sounding in my ears. _

_I looked to Bitters, wondering if he had noticed, but his head was ducked, a pen poised in his beefy hand. Figures...that man has eagle eyes that are always watching and he rarely ever zones out, but when he does, a fire alarm couldn't wake him from his stupor. _

_I glanced quizzically back at the girl sleeping soundly, my first guess that it might be Jo, but hadn't Kendall mentioned that she had already left with him? Besides, I came to the conclusion that Jo's hair was a shade or two darker than this mystery girl's. I would definitely know since I once competed with Kendall, Carlos, _and _Logan to win her heart. _

_Out of pure, boyish curiosity, I wandered closer to get a better look. _

_The face I found had my grip loosening on the phone and I almost fumbled it. _

_Trinity? How had she ended up falling asleep in the lobby? But that realization came at the same time as another one. Kendall was still babbling loudly in my ear, fussing about this detail or that one. _

_"Yeah, uh-huh. Okay, okay. I've gotta' go. See you in a bit." Without waiting for a goodbye, I snapped my phone shut and stuffed it into the back pocket of my favourite jeans...the expensive True Religion ones that my mom got me for my birthday. _

_For a moment or two, I wondered what a teenage girl could possibly be doing sleeping at nine o'clock on a Friday. That's the night that everyone else likes to be out and about...maybe partying the weekend away or staying at a friend's house, but there Trinity was, dead asleep in the foyer. _

_I quietly chuckled to myself, realizing that she never really did seem like the type to be a carbon copy. She does things for herself and lives her own life separate from all of the stereotypes and unwritten rules of being a teenager. She's original and independent...a refreshing new personality compared to just about the entire population of Hollywood. _

_I was barely aware of the smile on my lips as I watched her lying curled up like a fragile little kitten in the chair. _

_Resting serenely there, with her breaths coming light and steady, she looked the most at ease I'd ever seen her. It helped me notice things that I never let myself see before, like the way her eyelashes are beautifully long and dark, or how her lips look like they might just be smooth as velvet if you were to lay a finger on them. She has the slightest little hint of a dimple on each cheek and skin that looks so smooth it might just be made of paper. _

_Most of all, I realized for the first time that her pretty face looks like that of a porcelain doll: flawless beauty to the point of perfection. If you take the time to _really _look at her, she's a natural beauty, like a cool glass of water after a person's run a tiring marathon. _

_Mr. Bitters suddenly popped up beside me, making me jump. _

_"Give a guy a warning." I mumbled, scratching the back of my neck. I was probably staring too long, anyways... _

_"I was so busy that I didn't even notice her. What is she doing here?" He demanded. _

_I shrugged, carelessly. "How should I know?" _

_Bitters gave me his deadliest glare. "How will it look if new guests arrive tonight and there's some kid snoozing in the lobby? Get her out of here!" _

_I whirled around to face him, my eyes wide with frustration. "What? She's not _my _responsibility!" _

_He cocked a bushy eyebrow. "Then why were you staring at her like that?" _

_My face dropped and I felt my cheeks get a little hotter than what was comfortable. My nails pierced into my skin as my fists clenched at my sides. _

_Ignoring the current elephant in the room, I muttered, "I have people to see and places to be." _

Not that you care_,_ _I mentally added. _

_His glare seemed to get a little more intense, if that was even possible. "Too bad, so sad. Get rid of her or I'll tell Mrs. Knight about the time you and your little gang dyed the pool water pink." _

_I gasped a little too loudly for a guy. That was supposed to be top secret. _

_"We made a deal about that! You wouldn't dare!" _

_He flashed a triumphant smirk. So he had figured out my kryptonite and he knew it, too. Who knows what kinds of things I'll get blackmailed into doing now. _

_"Oh, but I would..._unless_, you get Trinity out of the lobby." _

_Seeing no other way out, I tossed my head back with a groan. "Fine." _

_The maniacal laughter that followed made that night top the list of the most awkward events that have ever occurred in my life. _

_Just when I thought my ears might start bleeding from the horrible sound, I held up a hand, silencing him. _

_"__Just...go." _

_He mumbled a lame apology under his breath as he walked away with his head hung in shame. _

_Shaking my own head, I turned back to the situation at hand. I mentally debated whether I should actually go through with it or not. _

_I thought about making a run for the door. Heck, Bitters would never be able to catch me and even if Mrs. Knight found out about the pool thing, the worst she would do is ground me for awhile. I could handle that. But I had to think about the guys, too. They would kill me for letting them get ratted out over something so silly. _

_So, I didn't sprint away...for the guys' sake (if anyone asks). _

_My next idea was that I could just shake her from her sleep, despite how cruel I might feel, because I've always been good at ignoring my conscience. _

_I tried to be gentle at first, lightly poking her arm, but she didn't even stir. I shook her shoulder, but she only groaned tiredly and turned away from me. _

_I glanced at the clock on the wall. Getting her up could take who-knows how long and I was already really late for the movie. __Kendall was going to smother me in my sleep, I knew it for a fact. _

_I took a deep breath as I let the realization of what I had to do sink in. _

_Treating her like a glass flower that I didn't want to break, I slid a hand under her knees and another behind her back. __When she still didn't wake, I carefully lifted her from the chair. _

_Her small body felt as light as a rose petal in my arms when I carried her bridal style to the elevator._

_I gently laid her on the fluffy bedspread, my fingers lingering a moment where they should have let go, reluctant to leave her fragile body alone in the dark. _

_The ballet flats, the ones with little pink bows atop each foot, slipped from her dainty feet with ease. A cartoon image of Cinderella and her prince danced behind my eyes, but I didn't shake it away. Only alone in the dark, I secretly smiled at the thought and innocently trailed a finger down the smooth skin of her foot. _

_After a moment's quiet pause, I aligned the shoes neatly on the carpet and moved to her torso. The vinyl jacket was a little harder to remove, but by the time I laid it at her feet, she hadn't so much as flinched in her deep slumber. _

_The tick of a grandfather clock echoed steadily through the apartment. _

_Looking around, I could see that everything had a place...an order. The room was neat and well kept together, but I had expected that much. The nice girls usually fall under the same category as the tidy, intelligent ones, too. _

_The walls were a pale shade of pink, almost like the streaks you see in the sunrise, but aside from a fully booked calendar hanging above the bed, they were bare...no movie posters or pictures of cute celebrities, nothing. _

_A rosy desk chair and two colourful bean bags offered themselves as comfortable seats. _

_A fluffy rug ran across the hardwood floor...and if there was a huge vanity mirror anywhere in the room, it was definitely well-hidden away. _

_My eyes drifted from object to object, taking everything from the sliding closet doors to the faux crystal chandelier in, when they finally fell upon the simple white nightstand next to the bed. _

_Silver frames encircled the lamp there and I suddenly found myself reaching for a random picture. _

_Auburn hair came down in waves around the woman's young face and the man's gray-blue eyes were laced with happiness. _

_They stood hugging in front of a shocking sunset...the kind you only ever see in the sappiest movies or read about in romance novels. The almost unrealistic kind. _

_The longer I stood studying the picture, the more it dawned on me. Trinity's facial features started to stare back at me and become obvious in the young lady's. _

_The real tell, though, was the man's extremely light hair. Even with all of my hair expertise, I had only ever seen a natural colour like that on one other person. _

_All of the puzzle pieces started quickly flying into place...maybe a little faster than my brain would've liked. _

_There had been a time here or there where I wondered about Trinity's parents, but the thoughts only ever existed on the back burner of my mind...until then. _

_I picked through my memory, trying hard to make the faces in the picture seem familiar. _

_Maybe I had noticed them in the background somewhere the first time I met their daughter? Maybe I had absent-mindedly caught Mrs. Knight making friendly conversation with the mother? _

_But the truth was, I hadn't. No matter how hard I worked my brain and no matter what way I twisted it, I knew for a fact that I had never even had a two-second glimpse of Trinity's parents. _

_In reality, almost every time I'd seen Trinity herself, she was very much alone, her only companion being a classic book. How could a young teenager move to a whole new place and change lifestyles without her parents ever showing up in the picture? Sure, I had come to Hollywood without my birth parents, but I came with _a _parent in general. _

_Stealing a glance at the girl in question, it finally clicked in my mind that if she were to wake and find me standing around her bedroom, looking at personal photos nonetheless, the result probably wouldn't be a very happy one. _

_Besides, they say curiosity killed the cat for a reason. _

_I carefully set the picture frame back in place and after a moment's thought, reached for the colourful crochet quilt sitting neatly folded up on the bed. _

_I laid it over her peaceful body and gently pulled it up to her chin, making sure she'd be warm enough. _

_A stuffed bunny stood on one of the pillows and I tucked it beneath her arm, giving her some form of company during the dark and lonely night. _

_With one last pause of hesitation, I knelt down beside her sleeping frame. _

_"This whole me being a nice guy thing? Don't get used to it, Sleeping Beauty." I softly whispered into the silence. _

_One of my fingers traced the smooth outline of her cheekbone while my lips met her nose in the sweetest, most gentle kiss I had ever known myself to give. A kiss as light as a butterfly's touch. _

_My heart fluttered being so close to her beautiful face, to her beautiful everything, and for the first time in the history of my life, I didn't bother to stop the only flutter that ever meant something. _

_"It'll be our little secret." _

_As the bedroom door quietly closed behind me, I pulled out my phone and speed-dialled Kendall. _

_"Hey...listen, I don't think I'm gonna' make it to the movie..."_

**END OF FLASHBACK**

"So, Mr. Bitters forced you to carry me up to my room." Trinity confirms.

After loudly sipping the last of my strawberry smoothie, I answer, "Pretty much."

She glances sharply at me from her spot beside my feet. "Usually I'm all for giving the benefit of the doubt, but how do I know you're not lying?"

I wipe my hands down my Khakis, getting rid of the wet condensation from my smoothie cup.

"I guess you don't...but the only thing separating you and Bitters right now is a short walk. Feel very free to go and bug him about it. Seriously, I'm giving you an invite."

Any other moment, any other day, any other conversation topic and I'd at least feign interest for the sake of a pretty girl (a _very _pretty girl), but if I have to spend another second talking about how I sappily tucked her in last night...well, the end results _won't _be pretty.

Her eyes slowly trail down to the ground and she shyly tucks a long strand of hair behind her ear.

"Okay, I get it. I'm sorry I lost my cool."

"So you'll apologize for that, but not for slapping me? Honestly, I never knew a little blonde could be so violent."

The words just fly off my tongue as if I'm spitting fire. When my brain finally comes around and what I've just said echoes in my mind, I openly cringe at how harsh that was...even for my standards.

Mrs. Knight always reprimands me on my sharp tongue.

Trinity hesitantly turns to look at me, surprise flowing freely through her eyes. She probably figured that by some unspoken law neither of us would ever bring up that afternoon in her apartment. At least, that's what I thought...

Logan once told me that if you keep something bottled up inside for a long time, you'll eventually end up blurting it out for everyone to hear. Does that mean I've been thinking about that day without even realizing it? After a few silent seconds tick by, the surprise falters a little and slowly morphs into an emotion that I can't place.

She stares me dead in the eyes when she says, "I won't apologize for something I don't regret."

As if trying to make a point, her stare lingers awhile longer before she stands and brushes herself off in a very lady-like manner. What there is to brush off, I don't know.

"Even if it was because someone told you to, thank you for making sure I got back to my room last night. Despite what you may think, I do actually appreciate it."

With one last glance at me, she moves on down the pavement. "Have a nice day, James."

My own eyes chase after her, watching her walk away from me, and before I even know what's happening, I hear myself speaking again.

"What's up with you?" I holler. I can just feel a few heads start to turn our way.

Her feet slowly draw to a stop, as if unsure whether she should ignore me and keep going, or waste the time listening to what I have to say.

"What?" Comes her soft reply. For the second time today, I find myself talking to her back.

"How can you do that? How can you tell me you don't regret slapping me hard across the face and then tell me to have a good day?"

I pause to let out a frustrated scoff and shake my head. "Seriously, who does something like that? It's ridiculous."

Even from behind, I can see her shoulders tense a little. Her fingers move to clutch at the rosy pink skirt of her sundress.

"Disappointed that I won't feed you lies like countless other people? Fine. I'm not about to give you an apology I don't really mean just so I can lift your pride another five notches and shatter my own. You might be a famous popstar to the rest of the world, but all I see is a conceited jerk who will never truly amount to anything special in life if he keeps heading down the dark path he's on."

My mouth falls open in shock as she takes another few steps, but then stops, apparently having re-thought.

I wait for the apology to finally come, but it never does.

She whirls around to face me, her face flaming hot with rage. "You think it's so ridiculous to be honest? You think it's so ridiculous to be polite? That's fine, too. I think it's ridiculous to go from girl to girl like a shark on a killing spree. So I guess we're even."

She's already turned away and stalking off not a second after the words leave her mouth.

This time, she doesn't give a single glimpse back.

I just freeze where I am, my jaw hanging slack and my hands numbly sprawled at my sides. The only thing I feel is my left eye twitch slightly...trying to choose between being wide as a loonie and shocked or squinting into a nice, steady glare.

Either way, my eyes pierce into her back like a freshly sharpened dagger and follow her until her body suddenly stops moving just before the entrance to the lobby.

Shaking out of my stupor as best I can and adjusting my vision a little, I spot her smiling sweetly at my three best friends. They must've seen the whole thing because while Logan and Trinity engage in a friendly conversation, Kendall and Carlos look just as shocked as I do.

I watch the way Trinity reaches out to playfully swat Logan on the arm, all traces of fiery heat erased from her face.

She looks completely comfortable and back to normal while laughing at some lame science joke he probably made.

It makes sense...only geniuses can understand his corny sense of humour.

As I watch their overly-friendly exchange (if you ask me), I catch myself wondering how a guy like Logan can change her mood from sour to beaming happiness with the flip of a switch.

_Logan_...the quiet math geek who has to have his dresser re-organized and colour-coded _at least _once every month. 

_Logan_...the guy who never even stands a one in a million chance of getting the girl.

Yet, there Trinity is, all glowing and face lit up like the sun.

The one girl on the entire planet that I can't have is smiling at a guy like _Logan _as if he just crossed the Arabian Desert at its hottest time of year for her.

Watching this almost makes me sick. What can he offer that I can't? What is it he does that makes her so disgustingly over-the-top happy?

Suddenly, I see the guys heading towards me. I quickly reach over and grab the first magazine I find, pretending to be completely careless about what just happened.

As they come closer and closer, Kendall and Logan don't think I can hear their loud whispers.

"What was that? I thought James felt bad after the whole almost kiss scandal." Kendall's deep voice.

"I thought so, too...but you know how it goes. He has a day or two of feeling guilty before relapsing into his old ways. That's just the way he works." Logan explains.

A bad feeling rises in my heart...the kind that I just want to set aflame and burn out, like a piece of paper crumpling and morphing to ashes beneath a wisp of fire.

Even my own best friends, the people I would go to if ever I needed help, disagree with my actions. That alone should stand out as a neon warning sign in the dark of night.

But...it doesn't. Because I won't let it.

After a moment or two, I feel them silently sink into the chairs on either side of me.

There's a brief period of awkwardness before Carlos takes the magazine right out of my hands, turns it over a few times, confused, and asks, "Why are you reading a pregnancy magazine?"

BTR

**Thoughts? The line about the guys dying the pool water pink is something I took from The Suite Life on Deck, when Zach dyed the pool water blue. So I don't own that. Also, Pwetty Pwease review :3! **


	8. Chapter 8

Hey! I know you guys HATE these author notes as much as I do, but this one is very necessary for the story. So here's the deal. I know it's been FOREVER since I've updated and I don't want to give you guys a bunch of lame excuses for why I haven't, so the straight-up truth is that not only has a lot been going on in my personal life (you guys might understand if I explained in detail, but I'm very careful about not sharing information on the internet), but I also really don't feel ready to post anymore chapters for this story. I've come to the conclusion that I think my writing has a lot of improving to do and this story does, too. So, once again, here's the deal. I really don't like what I've written for this story so far, but I don't want to give up on it and be a quitter, so how would you guys feel if I started the entire story all over again? Like a fresh start? Same Trinity, same James, I might even keep some parts of the old version that I actually like. Same love/hate storyline, just hopefully better? Thoughts? Anyone interested? Please review and tell me what you honestly think. 


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